itsmylife

2010-05-23T00:31:00.000-07:00

POSTED YOUR BLOG :D

2010-04-27T05:17:00.000-07:00

PAISEHH , tat time forget to go. LOL!!
anyway boyfriend ! goodluck in ur MYE ! :D
better pass well hors ! HAHA .
after exam sure meet uu go pool de !
remember to check on ur phoneeeeeee!
hope uu pass with flying colours.

goodbyes !
A.HUITIAN posted ur blogger ((:

2010-03-26T23:40:00.000-07:00

YOUR SON ALOYSIUS SO NAUGHTY ! :X

ii posted ur blog ((:
your son got "darling" already!
go disiao! :D

2010-02-28T06:46:00.001-08:00

GAN-BOYFREN (!!!!!!)

here's a post for uu (:
meet up soooon with mi ..
hehees, tkcare lots.
june holiday go play pool :X
youre booked :D

goodbyees! (L)

2009-12-31T09:32:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR KEVIN !

HAPPY BDAE TO MYSELFFFF(:

IM HUITIAN{:

2009-11-11T03:44:00.000-08:00

horhorhor , someone play pool bo jio !
kana caught le ! :D
SINGAPORE SO SMALL :D
hahaas, fun playing pool with uu & ur fren uhs..(:
make mi laugh like mad !
find somedays play again !
ii gonna WIN uu tis time!
call eugene & terrence along too :DDDD
ii miss them siol , lalalalalaa~~
posted ur blog ! LOLS.
ur blog like my blog le wors, zzzzs.
when ddenn uu wanna POST ur own? o.o
hahaas, alrights.
ii shall end ur POST & go post mine le :D
tkcares .

VOLLEYBALL MATCH ALL TH BEST UHS(:
PLAY HARD & ENJOYS(:

{L} TIANNN(:

2009-11-10T04:03:00.001-08:00

KEVIN TEO *AHEM*
ii forget ur name =.=

WHEN WAN MEET MI ?!!

2009-10-25T05:11:00.000-07:00

FOLKS!!

ytd ii saw kevin at yckss(:
hahahas, talking/msging with him .
hmmms, ii tink he joined th amazing race ii guess?
while im playing with clasmates above th hall :X
hahaas, hmmm.. bored uhs..
idk wat to post anymore..
im not a hacker(:
im a gan of his . hahaas(:
guess hu ii am :D

prizes not given , lols .

tkcares(:
ii posted his bloggy!

2009-10-14T01:56:00.000-07:00

KEVIN ,
ur book is with eugene nowww :D
ii pass to him already..
see when uu meeting him ddenn rmb take from him.
hahaas, finally ur book is not with mi le.
th book is collecting dust in my house :X
hahahahaas. paisehh uhs..

MR. ANG ! ( stealer )
hahaas, jokejokes..
dun angry uhs.. :X

ur exams finish le..? so fast . ii jealous!!

mine still got last paper tmr..siiannns..

oh goshhhhhh~~~
mayb th dog finally noe tat he's in wrong le ?
so he chicken out at th last min !
my god ! ii have no more post can help kevin post le.
saded larhhs!! )': . hais, no more fun..xD

2009-10-07T00:38:00.001-07:00

MR ANG :DDDDD

my surname also ang lehhs .. uu steal my surname. HA*
shhh, dun say out my name. hahaas.
ii will shy de ! call mi grape ! lols xD
lols, jokejokes. :3
hack care th spammer bahhs..
waste of my time talking to a DOG which dunnoe any english :X
hahaaas. lols.

2009-10-06T02:13:00.001-07:00

spammer: so he's only a coward..need a gal to defend him..the most useless guy i have ever seen..do you want a round of applause?

REPLYS,

fcuk you larhhs.. mi wan help him wat uu wan ?
he dunnoe ii reply all ur DOG'S tags okies ?!
dunnoe anything dun anyhow talk larhhs..act one noe.. =.=
siam larhhs kaobei ..
uu go hm drink ur mummy milk ddenn cm talk to mi larhhs hors.
dun act wan shad shad here . LOLS.
uu're not big anyway.. noe y?
cos uu're childish..!! .___.
so shut th fcuk up & fcuk off..
YOU DOGGY !! xD
------------------------------

MR. ANG :D

im not kevin's sis :X

2009-10-04T23:52:00.000-07:00

spammer: its my mouth..so that gives me the right to say whatever that i wanted to say..not happy ah? dun want ppl to comment on you then don't act cool..****er!

reply,

hu act cool first ? mind ur words DOGGY !
ppl wan act cool or watever uu care for wat fcuk ?
ppl's problem right ? DOG dun care so much..
anyway.. uu have no right too(: ; uu're jus a DOG!
dun act 1 shad shad here larhhs ..
uu're jus a childish person/dog/internet warrior? hahas.
LAME SIOL , grow up larhhs =.= .

fyi; im not kevin.

2009-09-15T06:49:00.000-07:00

spamMer: The sight of u make me puke and don't think you are a prince charming...only ppl with no taste will fall for you! BEAR THAT IN MIND!

--------

to spamMer:
ehhs, mai lame lehhs ! uu tink uu spamMer v. COOL arhhs ?
now 2009 le lehhs.. NOT 1999 larhhs..
STILL YOUNG ARHHx. onli DOG(S) use spamMer's name =.=
so ii tink uu're one ? hahaas(: , DOG!
use ur own name tat wat ur dad&mum giv uu larhhs.
arhhx bo mai tag larhhs..
kevin DUN NID UR TAG! <-- saw tis!
& pls larhhs, wat uu mean as
" onli ppl with no taste will fall for uu !"
uu v. handsome mehhs! dun make mi puke larhhs !! ni na ma -'-
uu have NO RIGHTS to comment anything on kevin!
uu're NOT his anyonee , uu doggiiee!!
BARE TAT IN MIND , FCUK OFF FROM HIS BLOG!
uu bloodyasshole fcuker spamMer.

2009-08-28T05:09:00.000-07:00

KEVIN TEO !!

ur book ii pass uu eugene uhs..
get from him when uu're free . LOLS.
hmmms, im here to help uu post .
thanks mi in my tagboard wors .
hahaas, tkcares many.
& study hard , exam coming le .

Missy`HuitiaN(:

2009-07-28T07:51:00.000-07:00

PPL in th tagboard . mai lame . =.=

& for ur info,
KEVIN.T is SINGLE .
JIO HIM IF UU WAN (:
uu may keep th change if uu wan ! :X

& G. BOYFREN stand for GAN.BOYFREN larhhs . zzzzz(s)

PLS DUN DISIAO ANYMORE! KNS~~

2009-07-21T20:45:00.000-07:00

KEVIN TEO !! :D

2009-07-13T04:39:00.000-07:00

KEVIN TEO G.BOYFREN(:

im here to help uu post. ii v. good hors..
YOUR BLOG DUNNOE DIE HOW LONG LE. x.x
LOL, anyway.. ii got something to tell uu.
ur textbook still with mi =.=
kns, when taking back sia ? ur book got alot of dust le :X
hahaaaS(:
hmmms, nth to post le .
uu better relink mi urself hors.
@ http://www.th-ladytonight.blogspot.com/ .
better do it sooon, if not ii gonna kill uu.
hahaas(:
meet up sooooon with eugene & terrence (:
bbyees(:
tkcares & studyhard .

H.uitiaN(:

2009-04-02T05:33:00.000-07:00

(This Post ain't suppose to be here, You ain't suppose to be seeing this.)

HowParanoiaAndJealousyMayDriveOneCrazy. The way life gets around me. This story might just come true.

(Adapted)
Fear and anxiety gripped me as the gentle breeze caressed my shivering face. If only somebody could have given me a reason, a simple reason to live, breathe and be alive. Was it that hard for me to breathe? Yes. Without any remorse nor second thoughts, I looked down, deep into the world filled with hypocrites and backstabbing, selfish liars they call people. Has everyone lost what I thought they would have? A simple but hard to find conscience. As you drift further and further away, it only gave me more reason and blinded courage to close my eyes to take another step. You were the only one that matters, I thought time would wash away my memories of you but it never did, it only made me miss you more than ever. I know words can't mean a thing to you anymore, the only thing you see is his care, his company and all that he has that I have to die knowing I can never have. Lies, were they meant to be my respite? It hurts the most to know the person you trust most lied to you. Maybe death could be a respite for me... My heart palpitated as the next step only brought me closer and closer to the ledge. Whats next was unknown but I know for sure, if your happy with him, my death would mean nothing to you. I'm just another scene from a movie that you've seen one hundred times, you won't miss me nevertheless remember me. Forsaking my mind, my hesitation pulled me back. Your my heart, the one and only. I could give up the whole world for you but you chose to give up on me. I could wait forever for an answer but you chose to give him the answer in a matter of weeks. I could swear to god I love you wholeheartedly and truly but you chose to keep me hanging. Tell me I would fall to death and I'll tell you to watch me do it cause I know my life is meaningless without her. Guardian Angel? I've failed, I'm the worse there is cause all I know how to do is to make her cry while he could always be by her side to be her hero, her shoulder to lean on, her source of solace. I 've tried, a million, a zillion times to just walk over there and be by her side, I know I tried. You know whats next too, I'm just not who she wanted. Unwanted, I was labeled, I wasn't even worth to be her friend. My mind broke down and my heart continues to bleed out the regrets, I don't wanna bring anything down with me, all I had in mind was I wish I'm gone. Tears fell like raindrops, each and single one of them reminding me how much I missed her, longed for her, needed her. "One last step" I told myself, and its all gonna be over. "One last bleeding" and I won't ever bleed again. There I went, down down and further down... "One last thought of you and him" I'm halfway down to neverland. "One last reminisce of your smile." Its all done. Farewell.

2009-02-21T06:05:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking of all those memories I could forget. If only I could just hold on, to that fading glimpse of eternity. It became clear that it was nothing but a lie. Held those hopes in my hands, wait, they weren't suppose to here. Perhaps before they could reach you and they just died in my solemn mourning hands.
I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT I DON'T KNOW!!! T.T Maybe when I'm gone I'll bring along all those nightmares so that they can't haunt you. =) My heart's on fire cause every song seems to be a knive that stabs me so deeply when your gone. The greatest thing that can happen everyday is to see you smiling, makes me wonder how many such days are left in my life.

There are JUST SO MUCH I wanna tell you but I just can't. Cause I'm too afraid of losing you... For heaven sake I know things ain't the same anymore but I can't bring myself to face the truth, I'm not that strong. T.T I Hope you know I'm dying with my shattered heart, my only wish is to remember you when I'm gone. Its like I live everyday on just to see what I hope not to see, whenever those scenes appear in my mind I would break down in tears and ask myself "What happened?"

Woaini <3

2009-01-31T09:15:00.000-08:00

(Emo Post) +Please don't read(You know who)+
1st feburary le, 15 more days to my birthday =/ Haish...My birthday last year was so pathetic. Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me.... Its sooo lonely?... I guess this year's no exception too. I'm unwanted, abhored, vindicated, despised, rejected.
Makes me wonder who even bothers bout my existance.
Dunno why but i just felt the need to update my blog. Heres the video that can say all i wanna say =)

2009-01-24T21:14:00.000-08:00

AHH!!! so long never post le >< dunno what to post sia... Very sianz, CNY TMR! Renunion dinner tonight! =DD Go sakura makan buffet! I just realised i've never posted any photographs on my blog before o.0... SO CLEAN!
hmm... Went to jaslyn's house ytd for steamboat! VERY NICE! xD enjoyed myself? den chat chat chat den makan new year goodies! OMG I'm gonna be fatter NOO!!!! Dx After CNY i'm so gonna go on a diet le...
Nothing much else to post le, Actually alot to post but dun feel like it so i'll just do away with it =)...

2009-01-09T01:47:00.000-08:00

AHH!! and I'm screaming once again... WILL THE TRUE JUSTICE PLEASE STAND UP? AND STOP THIS FLITHY AND CORRUPTED WORLD FROM BURNING IN THE DEPTHS OF HELL. Words that hurts, glance that burns. The things you see and hear ain't the reality anymore the moment you believed in forever. Stop this empty dreaming of eternity, its nothing more than a facade of lies. And all they saw is what i failed to see, all that glittering's not gold. Apologies for my blindness, I was too captivated but your beauty but yet so torn apart by my selfish pride, I'm sorry I can't be perfect. I would spend minutes to time your replies, hours yearning for your smses, days waiting to see you, weeks hoping that you'll talk to me and years wishing you would give me a chance to care for you and be there for you. I may sound insane and out of my mind but yes, I'm heels over head in love with you. I can't live a single second without you in my mind. Scenes that strangles me, thoughts that suffocates me, smiles that intoxicicate me. Its in your glittering eyes where I found my peace and a reason to continue my path in life, yet theres no explaination for it. When your hurt, you can never imagine the pain going through me, the feeling of being so helpless and useless. Please, if theres anything I can do to help please tell me, even if its leaving you. I'll do anything for you cause I don't want you to be sad, your happiness is all that truly matters to me now. Your my reason.

2009-01-05T04:33:00.000-08:00

Haha 2nd day of school, had a overview of what we'll be doing for this year. WOW thats alot for 1 year ><... Mug til we become retards. RETARDS UNITE!! xDD
And nice cupcakes you've got there LoL Chocolatey rubbery tasting cupcakes, a couple of sweet disasters haha. its SWEET!~ i'll give 11/10 =D but appearance 5/10 Dx...Look on the bright side *looks at the guy beside me* HE GAVE U 3/10 LOL
Actually after everything, I kinda realise that those cupcakes were more than just sweet disasters. It was life itself to me.
No matter how ugly things can appear to be, theres always something good about it. Just like those obastacles you may face. Til now, I don't even know if shes still there for me to wait for. IF shes gone, atleast shes happy. Thats all that matters to me now, she happy; I happy. Her smile can brighten even my darkest days and bring peace to my mind. All and all, its really because I love you.
Secondary 3 already, must study real hard and smart. It all comes down to this O level so lets MUG!! =DD Look on the bright side, now we know what to do! Rather than we waste our time wondering what to do and whine that we're bored. And all that studying is gonna pay off when we go to work, education high=pay higher $_$ xDD.
I just hope I'll survive through Secondary 3 in 1 piece. Thats the end for this post, cya =D

2009-01-04T06:37:00.000-08:00

Having my life flashing pass me ain't fun at all. Can't seem to solve this riddle of lies at all, would anybody be so kind as to give me a clue?

Shatter the hourglass,
Scatter the sand and separate the glass.
Save the trickling moments,
Savour the passing times and forsake the torments.

Help please? D'=
I'm feeling so lost, can't believe in anybody or anything anymore... Been lied to too many times that sometimes I can't even believe myself.

2008-12-29T22:29:00.000-08:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3/4 WTF? I wanna scream, shout and shriek like i've never did before... Man..WTF did i do to go into 3/4? WHY!? Of ALL CLASSES WHY 3/4?!?!?!?!?!?! FUCK FUCK FUCK And here we go again, another year of hell. Just when i thought my sec 2 life was screwed, you had to prove to me that i'm wrong. I swear I rather die. Now all I can do is strive hard for sec 3. No other goals in life already, since different class, confirm gone liao. just study and try not to regret when i go JC. FUCK CARE EVERYTHING knnbccb...

2008-12-23T05:59:00.000-08:00

Awwww man! And I just realised somethings that made me feel all so sour and regretting ><... Kinda do that very often eh? I would miss you. Think of the things you do, wondering how are you at this very moment. Hoping your thinking of me too. ( Impossibo )
Been feeling down cause of this more than ever. But I just can't give up, partially cause I promised that I'll wait forever. A promise is a promise; thats a lie to myself. The real reason for the promise and the waiting is cause I can't let go, I really really really love you! I swear theres nobody else that can make me feel the same way. I believe your words and trust you thus, I'm waiting....
It was really disheartening to know that I couldn't spend time with you during the hols at all, you said you had no time? Yea, most probably true. *I'm not treating it as an excuse* *Trying not to* I BELIEVE YOU =D (You can go out with other people, why not me? Is it that you just don't want to? If thats so, just tell me directly.)...
AHHH!!!! Just my thoughts being worded. Needed some place to speak my mind...
Had fun playing friendly against unity sec and jurong west sec today, the most hilarious set was the 3rd or 4th set against unity. I LMAO-ed. The score was 16-24 and it was my turn to serve, i was like WTF, aiya just get over with it. I ended up serving 10 balls in a row and we won the set with a score of 26-24. Pro hor? LOL kidding, just luck. I served 4 balls that were out balls and that funny guy at the other end flunked all. xD My legs are hurting T.T, jumped too much ><...
Christmas is 2 days away! WOOHOO, Nah... this year's christmas FREAKING DULL!!! I meant what the hell happened? compared to previous years, this is CRAPZ. I WANT MY CHRISTMAS SPIRIT BACK T.T. OH YEA! I GOT A GUITAR AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT! =DD Playing it now. First on the list, thunder and skyway avenue. ^^
Can't post much le, if only thoughts can be worded. This would be a 10000 word essay xD. cya all, merry christmas =D

2008-12-21T04:55:00.000-08:00

And I'm posting O_O... Dunno what to post, just felt like screaming out loud to somebody ><... 我感到好无奈和矛盾 wor!!!!!!!!!! haish....
O yea i started on my homework, done 8 questions, left 22 ><... AHHH!! my efforts seems to be so insignificant. Does it make a difference? I don't know anymore, tried and failed so many times that my broken heart feels too numb to get hurt. THIS WORLD IS SOOOOOOO UNFAIR!... Three cheers for luck, PUI. I've got none...
All I want for christmas is my homework done and YOU(Impossible)... Christmas feels so dull and uncelebrated, just another day to get by. Wow surprised to find out that haziq's crush's brithday is today xD Nice wallet you've got for her, 36 bucks o.0... Ouch!... Haish...I'm still thinking of what to buy as a prezzie, any suggestions anybody???
All i could think about is everything about her and all she can think about is nothing about me. T.T WAAAAA!!!!!! D'=... sob..

2008-12-16T06:21:00.000-08:00

LoL After what felt like *Decades* I'm BACK! and Posting =D
First thing in da morning today, *RING* Not alarm clock, my phone xD. Huiling sent a sms to me apologising for bombing me, man, i swear i din't expect it. I din't reply, not because I dun wanna forgive her or anything negative liddat. I din't reply cause i din't know what to reply, i've never blamed you...
You dunno how relax i was today, woke up in the morning with no training. Sleep sleep sleep den use computer to chat chat chat. Printed out my maths homework =DD FINALLY, some efforts in trying to my homework. Im lazy xP
Holidays' are decomposing my brain, been "Hu Shi Luan Xiang"ing for quite some time le, nothing better to do. LaLaLa. Went out with haziq from 2.30 to 7, went to play badminton, and Haziq, those 2 girls at the MRT wasn't looking at me =.=... I'm gonna be a GOOD BOY =D use a backpack now, no small small bag ^^. Man i still suck at badminton, maybe i should stick to volleyball ><... Oh oh oh! I found a new passion, TO COOK! I noe, i noe. Many people reaction would be " OMG, KEVIN STOP DREAMING LA! U cook? PLease la, even my worst cooking taste better than yours" or Quoted from my piggy mei "OMG OMG you can't cook! NO NO" ==...Won't try, won't know if will succeed anot right? Theres more than one way to rome, I hope my way leads there =D
If what waisiong told me is true, my world is literally shattered, my mind went into oblivion, i can't think no more, i swear. I guess I'm gonna ask just 1 last time, even if i get a dunno, im content with it cause i believe you really dun noe. I'll never lie nor break my promises, I'll always be your guardian angel. If you ever need me, turn back and take a look, i'll be just by your side. =) (The picture depicts me) xD
Been listening to mayday parade and we the kings' song =D very NICE!!! o yea, forgot to add in, SIMPLE PLAN ^^
I personally recommend the song "Skyway avenue" =DD
Got a wake up call, HOLS IS ENDING! OMG OMG OMG T.T... Sec 3 (Hell) is unleashing as i speak. I'm so dead. "GOnna mug til i become a retard" my motto for next year ^^
Byebye all, enjoy ur remaining holidays! And not to forget, Happy Birthday JingFang(16 dec) =DD

2008-11-21T06:04:00.000-08:00

CAUSE IF YOU JUMP, I WILL JUMP TOO! WE WOULD FALL TOGETHER lols listening to the song while posting, the vocalist rocks man. I SWEAR I'LL LEARN HOW TO PLAY THIS SONG ON Guitar and play it just for you =D. CauseIWouldDieForYou haha
Its been quite a eventful week, times flying away T.T Theres like a SUPER thick layer of dust on my homework, wait a minute. WHERES MY HOMEWORK? O.O AHHHH!!!!
Been thinking for quite sometime le, decided that its best if i just give up, sui ren wo hen ai ni. ke shi wo zi dao wo wu fa gae ni xing fu he kuai le. I respect it and IM GETTING OVER YOU(atleast im trying =D)(or maybe i've already succeeded xD)

Next year new class! = NEW CLASSMATES T.T... I miss 2/3, thinking bout the times we shared, the fun, not so fun and great times we had. its been a GREAT 2 YEARs! WO SHE BU DE T.T... Lets get together again sometime yea? FRENS FOREVER! 2/3 0'8 ^^
Tmr my di(huiling) going china le, have fun yea? take care oso =).
Wo xian zai cai fa xian yuan lai fen kang shi yi zhong na mo tong kui de gan jue...
She bu de ye shi mei yong de. Memories are worth more than anything else to me now. Thats all for this post ba, NOT EMO LE! =D Cause WO FANG SHOU LE. Ni kuai le, wo jue kuai le.

2008-11-14T04:57:00.000-08:00

And I'm feeling: Lost, Cheated, Lied to, Pathetic, Hopeless, Breatheless, Helpless, Suffocated, Afraid, Restless, Worried and Going nutz.

I mean, I lost everything I could possibly lose. My life is practically over except for the fact that I'm still alive and breathing. Do people know how much a lie can hurt someone?
Who can I trust now? Nobody, nobody at all. I'm so afraid of lies that the only choice I've got is to not trust anybody anymore. Why are people so selfish? Always thinking of only themselves, never giving a thought about how others feel. I had to forsake my trust just so that I won't feel hurt no more. Empty promises, twisted lies, flithy compromises, guiltless abandon.
When people lie to me, I somehow just know the ending but din't wanna be a wet blanket. Taking the pain silently used to be one of my hobbies but I'm sick of it! I'm the gatekeeper of my own fate and destiny, thats the only thing that keeps me going on now. I'm practically a empty shell now, feeling ever so lonely... I'm breaking down, really feel like crying out loud but you won't see my tears nor hear my cries. I finally understand why my friend told me she likes walking in the rain, cause nobody would know your crying...
I can see who is by my side and who is not. Nobody is, I'm alone.

2008-11-10T06:33:00.000-08:00

Feelings do change but i guess mine stays the same. Im such a fool right?
Fool
1.stupid person[countable] a stupid person or someone who has done something stupid [= idiot]:
What a fool he had been to think that she would stay.
Can't believe how dumb and blinded i was to believe such a thing as trust existed.
STUPID ME. There ain't such a thing as forever...

2008-11-06T07:10:00.001-08:00

What can i say? I'm coming clean. Huiling its not that I couldn't make myself clear, I told you who my posts were dedicated to but the feelings that i invoked in you by my post made you doubt my words and wonder if it was all false. All i can do now is try and prove myself, I just realised how weak and fragile words can be. I guess the paragraph below really expresses my feelings, nothing less.

"Haish... As i watch the distance between us getting wider and wider, my heart envisage the ending of everything by the end of this year. The burning matchsticks reminded me how fragile hope was... Set it on fire then just take your time and watch it burn to nothingness. You rekindled that little hope in me, please, i beg of you, don't put out the light. My love for you will exist til the end of time, i'll be waiting with my bleeding heart, hoping that someday you'll accept me for who i am. I can never be perfect nor good enough for you i guess... I promise you that i'll change, just tell me and i'll do it. I'm really afraid of losing you, my heart just can't stop missing you when your not around. Even if i'm just a friend to you, i just wanna tell you that i'll always be your guardian angel. In the past, now and forever...I love you =D You know who you are ^^"

Who do you think i'm writing this to?
LoL that reminds me, not left, not right nor the middle, still got up and down right? xP And fake isn't the right word, its unconvincing and contradicting *Hope i'm right* .

2008-11-03T05:40:00.000-08:00

Feeling bitter,sour,sick,sweet,disgusted,confused,frustrated.
Wake up every morning wondering whats next, most of the time its just cca killing my life. Man...Dyed my hair red then black again. Don't wanna talk about it liao, spoils my mood.
Holiday anybody free PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE JIO ME OUT ^^ (Pangsehers not entertained)
Pangsehed counter:16 (Just got pangsehed 1 minuete ago)
If your wondering which sub combi i've got, its...C1 a choice that made me wonder if i was dumb. Was it the right thing to have chose C1?...
Your ignorance's killing me, i swear your cold shoulder could freeze me off no prob.
LoL hols so sianz sia, whole day is wake up, watch youtube, go training, come home, makan dinner, online, SLEEP . Thats sucks man but i've made some new discoveries! =D 1.Japan animes are great time killers
2.When your bored, get a job
3.Cinema's becoming my third home
4.Friends who lie to you, F*** off =D
5.Ruki's new hairstyle DEFINITELY SUCK
6.Bimbos are better than bitches
7.Learnt how to stand properly
8.CCAs are fun sometimes, annoying when its too often
9.Red hair is nice ^^
10.Life is just knowing people and trying to forget them later
Haha try beating that, i've learnt 10 THINGS during the first part of the hols =) I'm soooo proud of myself xD Lets begin the other part of the post...

AHH!! CAN'T F***ing think straight, minds in a whirl. Whenever i see the blank space in here, i never fail to forget all that i wanna write or just scream about.
Walking down the road I once knew, saw the swings we once played, climbed the tree we once walked by everyday, sat down at the void deck i once spend my every afternoon at. I can't help but gazed at the elated children playing gleefully at the playground. Memories of my past poured into my mind, the happy ones and the sad ones. The beautiful oak tree i once saw has became nothing more than a withered and dead tree, the playground i once knew is never the less still filled with joy and laughter. It made me wonder, what happened to me?
Everything seems so dead now that i've changed. Life used to be just study, eat, sleep, watch tv, play with friends and family. Nothing else really matter back then. Now? Friends just ain't friends no more, they don't stay as one like those you knew long ago. Families all have their own things to attend to. Studies just ain't as easy as it used to be. Tv, replaced by computer, got sick of it. Eat? Thank god if i stop skipping meals. Sleeping, can't do that so often. What is life to me now? Just a time of my existance, do people even realise im here? Doesn't seem so to many.
Is it because of the choices and decisions i make? Why is the world so practical and cruel to me? Its not like i wanted things this way right? I don't wanna face reality anymore! IM SICK OF EVERYTHING, LIES,BOREDOM,DIFFICULTIES,BITCHES,RESPONSIBILITIES...
I'm so sick and tired, i wish i was dead ( I know pretty much of the whole world wish im dead too ). its just so unfair! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? Why do the assholes always win? Why am i trying so hard to be the nice guy? What or who am i doing all these for? ITS SO SEEMS FREAKING MEANINGLESS NOW...
Whine whine whine, yea thats what i just did, nobody's gonna care nor bother about it anyway. F.Y.I SCREW THOSE LIARS WHO TOLD ME THEY WERE GOING 2S+2H AND IN THE END WENT TO 3S+2H OR 3S+1H, this just shows how hypocritical people can get, even those you think you know them well.
(Lets just say some events are better left forgotten. =D)
Don't wanna emo liao, realised its pointless... Baibye

2008-10-09T19:00:00.000-07:00

Yeap and i was right... BOMBED yet again... ><
I dunno if i can trust you anymore.... but a promise is a promise, i'll keep to it forever...

2008-10-08T03:43:00.000-07:00

Sweet man... Did da quiz just to find out i screw 75% of my teenager life...
WOOHOO!!! EXAMS ARE HISTORY BABY!!! FREEDOM~ No more studying for da next two months to come, if that ain't sweet i dunno what is xD O dang, 2 months? I'm gonna die from missing you T.T.. Can't even survive 2 days without seeing you and now its 2 months GREAT~ it just gets better and better...
What am i saying?...
End of exams, start of outings but the first 2 already kena b0mbed, disheartened to continue... Does this foreshadow further bombings down the hols?..
Took me 2 hours of wandering around without any destination just to tell myself your my only one and i won't let go despite anything.. Despite how much it hurts me to see you just staring at him with that forlorn look, Despite how much you reminds me of him, Despite how much blood i'm willing to bleed for it, Despite all odds and obstacles that may come, Despite the number of times you let me down without knowing, Despite the number of times you reject me, Despite the amount of time i spent missing you, Despite the number of times i tried to be there for you, Despite the number of time i wished i could take all your troubles away... I feel so broken up inside...
When your not around i just couldn't pick myself up, i'm like a puppet without a puppeter. Your the only one that matters to me now, please don't walk away T.T I really afraid of losing you! I just wanna apologise if i've said things to hurt you or speaked to you in a inappropriate way, i don't mean it! Please believe me when i say your my only one, nobody else can replace you!
I'm truely wishing and hoping inside that you will read this and tell me what i can do for you... I can't spend a single day without thinking bout you...
I'm willing to be honest, i was jealous...I'm sorry >.<...
Ke neng jiu shi ying wei ni na me tian zhen you ke ai, shi wo gan dao hai pa er geng xiang hao hao de ai ni he bao hu ni...
Your guardian angel exiting....

2008-10-04T06:29:00.000-07:00

Man.. today was PRETAYYE~ okay... and Yeap.. I'm afraid of everything... Wo bu pei ai ni...
So freaking fun today, go out with terr,ziq,huitian,shuting and yenzhen they all to sun plaza de basketball court. Play play play, sweat til buay tahan den remember forgot to study zzz Haish, i such a muddlehead, left my science theory book with huitian. DIE LIAO T.T...
After play basketball le go buy poker cards and matchboxes. Play cards til sianz liao den take matchsticks burn the cards xD Learnt how to shoot flames sia, thanks ziq =D Some kpo ppl go take camera and take vid of us, nothing better to do si bo?... Want take come closer la, scared wat? Scared i take and burn u ar? =.="

Haish... As i watch the distance between us getting wider and wider, my heart envisage the ending of everything by the end of this year. The burning matchsticks reminded me how fragile hope was... Set it on fire then just take your time and watch it burn to nothingness. You rekindled that little hope in me, please, i beg of you, don't put out the light. My love for you will exist til the end of time, i'll be waiting with my bleeding heart, hoping that someday you'll accept me for who i am. I can never be perfect nor good enough for you i guess... I promise you that i'll change, just tell me and i'll do it. I'm really afraid of losing you, my heart just can't stop missing you when your not around. Even if i'm just a friend to you, i just wanna tell you that i'll always be your guardian angel. In the past, now and forever...I love you =D You know who you are ^^

2008-09-29T03:27:00.000-07:00

LOST? Can i find any other words to describe so?...
Walking pass the cemetry i once knew, saw those wander souls just as if i was one of them... One came by and ask "Would you like to join us for eternity?"
No.. But is my life now any different from theirs? "Take my hand and we'll go down, down, down to nowhere." Reaching out for you, you din't reached out for me, you kicked me down and gave me a final farewell.
As i fell, i felt so remorseful, not because i chose to fall but cause you killed my final hope for returning to how we were. I guess you needed some space, to breathe, to see, to get some respite...
Just what are you trying to get out of this? A person who misses you and loves you just for the sake of it? Walking on and on, on the thin line that seperates hell from false truths. Where am i gonna fall? Do i really wanna know when it makes no difference?
My life revolves on, how ugly people can get, how flithy their hearts are, how screwed your life would be though no changes can be made...
STAB ME IN MY HEART! LET ME KNOW I DO HAVE ONE!
Am i still alive at the very least? Don't you enjoy hurting me on and on? WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY WHEN I ASK YOU TO CLAIM MY LIFE TO LIFT ALL THE SUFFERINGS AND PAIN?
Drowning in my grieve as i stared at the trail you made...
Made a pact with the Reaper to stay with you, i hereby hand you my soul, i'll be by your side forever. Helping you whenever your in need, never expecting anything in return but an acknowledgement of my existance.
As the days goes on, my mind and heart melts along...
The sweet memories, the dire nightmares... They don't seem to make any more difference anymore.

2008-09-21T05:34:00.001-07:00

As the cradle of time fell,
nothing could ever tell.
I feel so lost and lonely,
even when everyone's beside me.

I'm breathing ever so hard,
trying to find my shattered heart.
As tears welled up in my eyes,
the me inside just dies...

I've forsaken my ability to speak,
people might think i'm a freak.
But never will i utter any words,
for i fear causing any more hurt.

No more sweet but empty promises,
no more talking to misses.
No more morning salutations,
no more communications...

Kevin Teo RIP Deceased on this very day 21/09/08
His funeral was held right where his heart used to be.
His soul lost forever in a world of doubts and mistrust...

2008-09-21T05:00:00.000-07:00

DECEASED

2008-09-16T07:41:00.001-07:00

How many apologies does it take?
Despite the assumptions i've make,
the answer never seems to appear.
There ain't no forgiveness i fear.

As i stare at the sins i've commited,
those thats never to be vanquished.
My suffocating mind soon went blank,
Can't help but gaze at my bloody hands.

"Trust" never fails to fail me,
It hurts to know we're never meant to be.
As i pondered on, my senses deserted me.
Whats left is only memories...

Why Is your ignorance ever so typical?
Has it ever occur to you how others feel?
If only my questions came with answers...
As always, my hatred for you gets lesser and lesser...

2008-09-16T07:41:00.000-07:00

I knew i couldn't make it,
Since the day our eyes meet.
But i wanted to give it a try,
I just don't know what or why.

What happened to the you i knew?
The innocence thats ever so few.
A sweet face with a killer smile,
Shes the cutest, does it ring a bell?

Gave it a shot and din't regret,
even though dismay is all i get.
I asked, would i have a chance?
But now, are we even friends?

I don't mind taking another fall,
Giving all i got, cause your my all.
All i want to say is, I love you.
Even if you already long knew...

2008-09-13T06:34:00.000-07:00

My heart envisage surrendering to my macabre fate while the reaper gave a lurid rendition of my pathetic ending...
Spoke from the bottom of my heart as to what i'm thinking now...
Tried letting everything go just so that i can concentrate on my exams but it seems quite impossible now

2008-08-21T04:07:00.000-07:00

I mean... I'm sorry, i don't know whats got into me... Been so fraustrated with myself, thought of many things but everything just so uncunningly points to the fact that i'm just a plain failure. I'm so sick and tired of it, but what can i do to change it? To undo what i've done, the mistakes i made and the wrongful steps i took.
I just can't let them go! Why can't anyone just understand what i'm going through now? Those pain that can't be worded, sorrow undescribed, hatred that flooded and jealousy that blinded. Has everything i know vanished or were just engulfed by fear?
I don't wanna know whats in store for me no more, all i wanna know is whether will i drown in my own depression...

I "Dunno" what to write already, just wish to severe ties with headaches and hangovers.

2008-08-18T06:46:00.000-07:00

Wow great, you stole my lines, kicked me aside and made me the bad guy. WHATS WORSE?
Now that your gone, everthings turning upside down for me. What should i do? HATE YOU TO DA CORE? or JUZ TAKE THE BLAME FOR ALL AND LET PPL HATE ME FOR ALL I CARE!
Dam fuck up mood, kanina, come screw my life for fuck?...
My world's turned upside down, what can i say? HATE ME! A while this, a while that all jibye tai ji all fuck off la. Homework give me i bo chap, worksheets give me i burn them, dare scold me you watch out and all bitches and bastards thats out to screw my world FUCK OFF =D
Tried explaining, all you could ask was WHY WHY WHY but you could never tell me what you din't know, all you knew was to ask why. WHY WAT? WHY AM I NOT SCREWED ENOUGH? OR WHY ISN"T IT ALL MY FAULT? WHY AM I NOT BREAKING DOWN AFTER ALL? WHY AM I SO DUMB TO TAKE ALL THE BLAME?
Nah...no more man, LEARNT MY LESSON THE HARD WAY... Screw this year for all i care since i know i ain't smart enough to stay on so why not i just make it easy for you and FUCK OFF yea?...
I'm trying so hard to survive that i can't even think straight, if thats not enough i could only say i rather be dead.
I'm just doing things for the sake of doing it, i'm like a dog chasing car; i wouldn't know what to do even if i grabbed it. I just felt like it.
You were my hope, my angel, my only light in the abyss of depression. But now, your my sorrow, my disapointment, deception, my harbinger of death and misery. What happened to you?...
"Dun hope anymore" GREAT! now i've got no hope, might as well end this pathetic life right? i mean its quite pointless already when all the answers to my questions were "dunno". Tried probing and the next time you'll get is "sorry". How many of these does it take to understand its true meaning?
'Goodnight=Goodbye
'Dunno=No
'Hope=Nope
'Sorry= *I can never understand this*
Now my life is screwed, nothing seem to matter no more. Gonna look foward to my hols after SA2 and hopefully die from sleeping if its possible. tata, gonna drown myself in my respite. And I ain't gonna hope no more, would rather i never awake from it at all... (Hypocrite signing out)

2008-08-14T05:46:00.000-07:00

haha Feeling great but dunno why...
I FEEL GREAT!!! The kind of anti-burden and yet fufiling feel just hits the spot at this time. Wonder if this is the feel of just letting everything go and not think about it, MAI MIND IS BLANK!!!! WOOHOO!!! Peerrffecct~
I DUN WANNA THINK ABOUT YOU,YOU,YOU,YOU,YOU,YOU,YOU! =D Needless to say HOMEWORKS TOO! I JUZ WANNA LIVE LIFE THE WAY IT SHOULD BE LIVED, FREE AND EASY^^ No more worrying bout You,you,you and no more wondering where u go, what u did or whatever the f*** happened!
Everyday keep telling myself "NEVER GIVE IN, PERSEVERE!" but i do so much for wat? Just let nature take its course lor since she oso bo chap. Sua sua. Tried talking to her she dao me, only bo liao den a sai talk? liddat i mai talk liao...
*Whistles"... Feeling so great and free~
Man! only screams and senseless shouting can describe how im feeling.
BLANK MIND ROCKS, been racking my mind nutz trying to help u in everyways and yet trying so hard just to get myself heartbroken in the end. I mean I LOVE YOU but since you dun care, VACATIONS FOR ME =D
Later go finish all homework, wanna think about NOTHING ELSE AT ALL LE! ^^
The more i think the more paranoid and worried but over wat?
If i no chance i rather u juz tell me, give me the signs and i confirm more dulan.
AIya here i go again. KEVIN, SHUT UP, SHE AIN'T GONNA CARE!
Just living life~

2008-08-12T07:52:00.000-07:00

I slipping of the edge of my mind,
Can't anyone see what I'm trying to find?
I'm on the verge of fading away,
Can you please help me find my way?

If only you could know how I'm feeling,
The everlasting bitter pain of failing.
I watched on as my words was engulfed,
Not being able to do anything like clouds.

What am i to you in those gleaming eyes?
Wanted to ask, but knew it wasn't wise.
The truth revealed, i was an apparition.
Why must it be this way? She din't mention.

As i bear the pain of my mind self-crucifixion,
I told myself, must i never give in to emotions.
The more i tried to hold everything back,
the more my love for you stacks.

2008-08-12T06:48:00.000-07:00

Just when things seem so bright,
You had to extinguish the light.
I mean, why are you doing so?
Don't you know my world is now so cold?

I can't believe anything now,
Like all those hope i've found.
Their now nothing but empty lies,
those that were never ever nice.

Maybe theres still lingering a chance?
One that stays on like friends?
Never did i chose to speak,
All i did was to silently seek.

I don't want things to end this way,
Despite the fact i expected this day.
Why couldn't we just work things out?
You're the only one i can think about...

2008-08-07T08:00:00.000-07:00

Don't feel like posting, F*cking moodless now... WHY MUST ALL OF YOU LIE TO ME!? I HATE LIARS!... All of them i can just forget but why you?....

2008-08-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

Forever is rubbish, hope is a lie.
The world is gonna be without colours.
For today is the day innocence died,
Lets us cheer and mourn for its funeral.

Don't feel like continuing with this poem, any kind souls willing to help? =D
Tomorrows's gonna be a hell of a day for me, haish.... my lifespan is seriously gonna shorten if this carries on.

2008-08-05T06:23:00.000-07:00

Rate me on this poem! =D Appoint 5

My mind made a trip back to the past,
Can't believe everything made sense.
What happened to me,you and us?
What can be now is only just friends.

I want time to be turned back,
but i knew it could never happen.
If it could, I promise we'll be on the right track.
And nevertheless very different.

"Vanity" reminded me of only you,
the way you made my summer rained.
Is it typical for you to be so cruel?
To make me taste the tears and feel the pain.

Can happiness so vague be devoured?
I want to know cause its my all.
I tried my best and endeavoured,
My guess would be it was meant to fall...

2008-07-29T07:51:00.000-07:00

Derived from "www.lyricsmode.com" =D
Song:What you got Artist:Colby O'Donis feat akon

Lyrics | What You Got lyrics

2008-07-25T06:25:00.000-07:00

Exams are heere!!! Study study study!!!
Need something to DESTRESS! yea? u know what i mean, da computer games, outings, slacking, resting and tv watching xD
Been reading lots of poems these few days, thought they were quite interesting, intriguing and filled with many different meanings with an abundance of wordplay. Something simple words never fail to comprehend. I tried countless of times, but just couldn't or rather never get the same feelings that stirred up whenever i read those heart wrenching but true poems.

Realise many thing;if i work for something, I might not succeed but at the very least i got the minute chance of succeeding. If you think its worth it then very well go for it, its might no be within your reach but at least the attempt of reaching for it makes it all worthwhile.
Going to study for geography paper, this year has been well screwed but i do wish and hope in my heart that its not too late to save my forsaken results that i already long given up on...Cause I know deep within i still want to save it.....

Have you ever had the mixed feeling of guilt and dejection?... The feeling you get when you see others in misery or pain? The warm tears you can feel in your eyes and the blistering slashes on your injured heart you experience when you see you yourself causing others to be sad?... The bitter remorse and sour regrets you taste whenever you felt you've just wasted your life? The feeling of waiting for that summer of love you know that will never arrive and yet still held on cause of a single and funny thing known as hope? The heart shattering rejections, the anguished sorrow when she pours out her woes to you and yet theres absolutely nothing you can do but just watch her tears fall? And most of all the fact that she tried to avoid you and put on an act; as if she doesn't know you love her or she gives a response for the sake of her friend and not because she wanted to do it?.........
I'm just waiting for that answer thats never seems to draw near, I wish i could burn those rotting memories together with my dreams but i know i'll never give up on you no matter what.... I love you

2008-07-17T04:15:00.000-07:00

Lols i'm like kinda changing back to how i was in sec 1 sia...
Geek 101 : Black thick frames, tuck in shirt, high socks, hair flat flat, manners, courtesy, homework hand in on time and just no vulgarities...
How hard could that be? lols no kick, like real.... harder than anything i've ever imagine... Hair kena cut i diam diam, no more contacts can cry, shirt tuck out bo bian, homework never hand up on time used to it and vulgarities? Don't say den confirm is i something wrong liao....
dam man! tried telling myself it was all for her... End up trying but can't change the fact that i'm just trying to bluff myself when its really impossible....
If i were to believe that i had a chance, i might as well bang my head on the wall and tell myself its IMPOSSIBLE....
Try proving me wrong.....
Realised that many things made sense now, the fact why things never seem to work out, the fact that shes always out of my reach and the fact that things just gotten worse without a doubt...
Waited for her to chnage to online instead of busy or away, ever since early afternoon. Ends up she offlined the moment it struck 6 plus. Haish... as the days goes on, she just drifts further and further away. If you've got another guy, would you just tell me and break my forsaken heart, rather than letting it bleed to death by hanging it in painful suspense?
I can't find the right words no more, just desperately wishes she knows how im feeling now or just tell me that its gone case so i don't have to spend every everlasting minute of my life wondering am i not good enough for her, missing her and thinking bout each and everything bout her....

2008-07-14T05:54:00.000-07:00

Gazette - Zetsu

On this rainy Tuesday, the heavy humidity feels pleasant
I can hear her emotions resounding from the destroyed bedroom
Her discontent, greed, jealousy, and confining nature
Will she eventually end my suffering and break me down?
On this rainy Tuesday, I don't want to go into that bedroom
Predisposed to hysteria, you're fascinated with your wrists again
My suffering will eventually sever the pipe
Just as planned, you did break me down

Is this your true self, following on my heels flirting even now?
It makes me laugh, how ugly you are...

Scattering, scattering roses in the saliva - tonight, there are no tears. [1]
Scattering, scattering - I loved you, the past, those sweet days I can't return to

On this rainy Tuesday, in my nausea and headache
My convulsing pupils caught sight of you running away
I want to keep playing, I want to feel it until I'm sick of it
Give me the satisfaction of ending your greed

Crying out in tears, my face is void of expression
Let's mingle together to liberate ourselves more, and deteriorate...

Deeply, deeply, as if to melt, deep suffering, pain, and anguish
I am captivated and drowning in this danger and bewitching beauty
Scattering, scattering undampened flowers and your frigidity [2]
Left to pleasure myself, trembling, trembling - if I came, the daily regrets would be in vain

On this rainy Tuesday, the heavy humidity feels pleasant
My new girlfriend is a type A addict in a wheelchair
You're a quiet, cleanly, pure rose without a speck of dirt
Let's hope every day that the 12th victim won't appear.

[1] Sort of a play on words - "bara" means rose, and "barabarabara" is an onomatopoeic expression of scattering. He wrote it here with various kanji, including part of the kanji for "rose".
[2] More wordplay - he wrote "fukan SHOW TIME", but "fukan" is part of the word "fukanshou", meaning [sexual] frigidity. So he combined "fukanshou" with "showtime", which really has nothing to do with anything :P

2008-07-13T08:04:00.000-07:00

Song: All Over you Artist: The Spill Canvas
Lyrics:
Yeah, he's a looker,
But I really think it's guts that matter most
I displayed them for you
Strewn out about from coast to coast
I am easily make believe
Just dress me up in what you want me to be
I'll take back what I've been saying
For quite some time now

I gotta feel you in my bones again
I'm all over you
I'm not over you
I wanna taste you one more time again
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you

In my daydreams, in my sleep
Infatuation turning into disease
You could cure me
See all you have to do now is please try
Give it your best shot and try
All I'm asking for is love
But you never seem to have enough

I gotta feel you in my bones again
I'm all over you
I'm not over you
I wanna taste you one more time again
I'm all over you
I'm not over you

This life is way too short
To get caught up in all this stuff
When i just want you to love me back
Why can't you just love me back?

Why can't you just love me back?
(Why can't you?, why can't you?)
Why can't you just love me back?
(Why can't you?, why can't you?)
Why can't you just love me back?
(Why can't you?, why can't you just love?)

I've gotta feel you in my bones again
I'm all over you
I'm not over you
I wanna taste you one more time again
(Just one more time)

This life is way too short
To get caught up and all mixed up
When I just want you to love me back
Why can't you just love me back?
Why won't you just love me back?
Why can't you just love me back?

2008-07-12T10:26:00.000-07:00

Revamped =D Suddenly had the mood to renew my whole blog...
Having lots of mixed feelings nowadays, going nutz inside but so lethargic on the outside... Can't seem to put everything i want to say into words, they never fail to vanish each and everytime i try to even touched them...
They remind me of events, events that starts to pierce my heart so deeply that the pains wakes me from my slumber. The day she said those words, i couldn't sleep for the whole night, spent it wondering why why why....WTF IS WRONG WITH ME!? WHAT IS IT THAT I REALY WANT? WHAT DO I NEED TO JUST HAVE A PEACEFUL SLEEP AT NIGHT? T.T
Most of all, wheres my answers?....
Saw lots of poems recited by heartbroken people, all of them had 1 thing in common, ALL CONTAINS BITTERNESS WRAPPED BY REMORSE AND DECOMPOSED BY TIME... whats left is only regrets that burns in the heart...
All i need is a sign, a hope, a signal for me to continue walking. I can do anything just for you cause my world revolves around you and only you....

Whats there to say?
Whats there to fear?
Never start to move away,
As it only draws as near.

Why am i running?
Why am i so afraid?
I continued falling,
but never ever dead.

I tried looking at you,
But i never dared.
Chances are ever so few,
So i tried to stare.

I saw your smile,
It took my breath away!
I turned my view to the file,
Wishing i could look in your way.

I couldn't believe it was real,
A smile so innocent its new .
I swear i thought i saw an angel.
But i knew it was always you...

I have faith in you and believe you,
I trust myself that i made the right decision,
I'll be waiting =)...

I Hereby End my post =D Peace out and TC ^^

2008-05-30T08:34:00.000-07:00

I getting pissed off and sick of this in case you haven't notice ^^ juz F*** off if your gonna emo and think that i will give a shit about it. I would rather waste my time off on viwawa or just go out wandering aimlessly for no reasons at all than to see you sulk and lament zzz...
Day and days passes ever so quickly without no reasons at all, i wonder what am i working so hard for? The holidays are here but i appear to be busy with a part time job, homeworks, ccas and sleeping. I seriously can't spend my holidays without money and since my parents ain't giving any so i have to work for it ><... CCAs no choice den no sleep can't do no shit so my holidays are REALLY PACKED. Juz glad that i made it for the girl guides campfire to see them, i promised to go but i end up going to work den arriving only at 10 plus cause i totally forgot bout it. I tried my best to fufil my promise le, said will come den came le but nid rush home cause i told my parents i'll go straight home after my work but end up i go school den go home. Sorry i couldn't accompany you T.T, sounded like they had fun and hope they did. Just couldn't stand the sight of the sec 3 scouts, they look so freaking sissy with their childish actions ( as if trying to attract attention zzz ) Miss ng look SOOOOOO weird with da new look lols, funny she didn't tie up her hair.
Nowadays blur blur de, work oso kena scolding cause blur til went wrong place. Go training wear wrong jersey. On aircon use tv de remote control. Sleep til 3 pm thought is 9 am. SOMEBODY PLEASE SAVE ME!
Trust is something that i always wished i had in many but why does it vanish ever so easily when certain events happen? Im trying but it just doesn't make any difference, could it be i'm just making things worse? I realised that although im trying to help, i'm actually the one making it disappear, Thanks wai siong for making me realise that. I was so blind i couldn't recognise my own mistakes and yet made more thinking that it won't hurt at all.
This time its gonna be different thats for sure ! =D Just you wait
Byebye all, take care during da hols ^^

2008-05-22T08:03:00.000-07:00

Somebody once told me, everything lies in points of view and how you treat the happenings around you. I couldn't bring myself to agree to this at all...
Things just doesn't seem so simple when i drown myself out in my dumb jealousy.
Or another example would be, i don't do well at all for this exam despite the fact that i failed none and managed to pull my maths to a passing mark.
How many failures in life does it take to realize, somethings just don't get done or go your way no matter how hard or how many times you try? I've tried and tried but the only thing i realized was life is never fair.
Don't sweat it, theres no way my theory could be proved wrong with assholes finding every ways and means to frame and find your faults every now and then. Can't help but wonder do can they live on another moment without trying to corrupt this polluted world further.
Its just so obvious but yet i couldn't see it. I mean...How blind could i be?
Maybe things could be better if i thought of it to be just a dream... Please pinch me and tell me I'm still asleep cause i never wanna wake up...
All these lies, your stories, your words, your company, your eyes and your silliness ... All thats made you ever so unique, evil and beautiful... Why couldn't i see through this facade of it all from the start? Or was i just too obsessed in my own dreams?
If only somebody could answer all these questions so i wouldn't have to ponder over it and wonder whats next after all thats solved.
I'm confused but always for the wrong reasons, can't see things through although nothings' needed to be done. Why is it always them? Why can't i be just like them?...
The more i think of it, the worse i felt.
Words cause only express my feelings to a certain limit, those forsaken but indescribable feelings could only be left to linger causing more grieve and sadness nevertheless.
I hereby end my agony-filled post.

2008-04-28T01:47:00.000-07:00

Time to post! LOL Finally i've found the time and mood to post... SO MUCH BOTTLED UP FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS! I SWEAR I COULD EXPLODE IF THIS DRAGS ON TIL THE EXAMS XD...
Exams starting this week, gonna need the extra storage space on my brain lol
If i flunk this my june hols are very well screwed ><
CHIONG AR!!!! xD
Can't believe my speech is SOOOO PATHETICALLY SHORT even though THE WAIT TIME IS SOOOO LONG zzz... AH DA HECK! lols
i gonna go study liao byebye! =D
GOOD LUCK FOR YA EXAMS!
O yea one more thing in case i forget...TO HER( you might be wondering who and dun anyhow spread if you dun know EXACTLY who =D, i doubt she herself even know its her LOL ):
Haha might sound weird if you were to read this, me here for you forever, anytime, anywhere, anyhow and for what ever! ^^ You can't imagine how important you are to me in my life. How i wish i could just take your problems and burdens to a one way trip to nowhere and dissappear so that you'll be happy and carefree. No matter who i am in your eyes, i just wanna be your number 1 guardian angel!! =D I PROMISE i will be by your side forever just to try my best and help you and also care for you. Even if you feel left out and unwanted by the world, i'll always be here for you...I love you!

2008-01-29T04:37:00.000-08:00

I can't wish, i can't speak,
i couldn't even feel if i was there.
It has started since the first week,
But i wondered, do you even care?

There you stood, with hearts full,
i can't help but to look at you.
It did made me feel like a fool,
But i couldn't care less as it was YOU.

Wishing i had the courage to ask,
I went forward, with hope and fears.
I did all this cause you were my crush,
But could you lend me a listening ear?

I couldn't believe what i did,
my wishes were as fragile as sand.
What i did did not seem deem fit,
Soon after, it all ended...

She told me i was nothing,
I'm not even fit to be something she sees.
And that guy was her everything,
cause he and i just have too much diffs.

From then on, my heart sank,
It was tears of blood that appear on my face.
I could not even be a friend,
This thought would go on for days and days.

You face appears ever so vividly,
It was the pain that reminded me.
It just pops out unexpectedly,
but i know this is not the way it should be.

2007-12-24T22:01:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!! =D Hope your holidays have been a fufiling one and AHH!!! I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED WITH MY 30 QUESTIONS MATHS ASSIGNMENT!!!! O.O DANG!...
Looks like next years gonna be a difficult one thanks to lousy cca coach, teachers that complains about almost everything, cca teacher-in-charge that can nag 24/7 and long hours in school zzz... WHUTEVER...Just try to get on...
HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE =D
See you all next year!

2007-12-12T05:04:00.000-08:00

AHH!!! I WANNA QUIT!!!! T.T BUT I OSO WANT MY CCA POINTS!!!!....
Hiash...i'll go on for the sake of my cca points, i hate going early in the morning just for some dumb routine practise that won't make any difference...The coach seriously sucks man...
Really felt like quiting after some crap he blabbered today...He said that the main 6 must master the formation and ways of playing first den they teach us so it will be easier but by the time will be around january le HOW HE BLOODY EXPECT THE RESERVES TO CATCH UP!? What he expect the reserves to do? turn up every morning for these practises and end up going to there just to watch people play? This is such a waste of time and effort...AND SO FREAKING UNFAIR TO THE RESRVES THAT ARE TRAINING HARDER THAN THE MAIN SIX TO GET IN...HIS BLIND DAMMIT...
HE SUCKS ANDHAS NO BRAINS THATS ALL I CAN SAY...
Any 12 -year-old looking at this , NEVER JOIN ANDERSON's VOLLEYBALL, cause you'll find out when you sit on the bench to watch a meaningless match play...

2007-12-03T05:55:00.001-08:00

THATS THE FINAL STRAW! YOUR GOING DOWN...
I QUIT VOLLEYBALL!!! THE COACH SUCKS MAN...BIG TIME... Its been so suck to wake up in the morning to go for these dumb routine trainings just to end up going to the stadium to just watch the game play while u sit there and be dumber to cheer...You know whats the dumbest? to help them fill up their water bottle knowing they could do it themselves or be the cheer leader zzz...
Its seriously sucks when after u fought so hard, the freaking coach just puts you as a reserve and let somebody take the chance instead of giving it to you...Im sick and tired of having to go for trainings and matches just to train and train and train just to watch a volleyball match while thinking while will your chance ever come...IT JUST SUCKS...I HATE IT!!! Now i understand why yuan zong quited ...Trainings are a waste of time when you are a freaking reserve...
FINE! So your gonna make me a freaking reserve right? I'll tell you what the f*** am i gonna do, Match i won't go cause its just a waste of time, training don't expect me to go for all, 1 or 2 in a week just to go there and play for fun and i will going off ON THE DOT... SUCKA...
YOU JUST SUCK, ALL YOU CAN SEE IS LARRY'S STOMACH, YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN JUN XI IS AROUND CAUSE YOU GOT SOME ONE YOU CAN FIND, YOU CAN'T JOKE FOR YOUR LIFE YET YOU ACTED AS IF YOU CAN, YOU TOLD PEOPLE YOUR TEAM'S GOOD BUT THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEONE BETTER,YOU KNOW WHY? CAUSE! YOU! SUCKKKKKK!!!!!
So damn pissed off...DUN CARE LIAO...GET A LIFE FREAKO!!!

2007-11-28T07:43:00.000-08:00

Lalalala~~~~ AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! BLOODY HOLS!!!!! IM GOING NUTZ AT HOME!!!!
SUPER SIANZ...
My mind SUPER blank, don't even have anything or anybody to think of -.-...
HELP!!! T.T... School PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE quickly reopen la! Atleast i will have something to do...
Okay i know what to say liao...Lets crap about HER zzz
Dunno what to say to her oso, either dao me cause too lazy to type or too busy thinking of him and attending to his every need... LIKE I GOT A CHOICE?... Not i dun wan care is theres nothing i can do to change it -.-... CRAPPED OUT...
Hate her=Stabbing myself ( Thats dumb )
Love her=No difference from hating her...
Friends?= Ah huh...Finally...If thats possible =.-"...
I try and i try, NO USE...
Yesterday was a nightmare, today is a burden and tomorrow will be a horror...
IM SICK AND TIRED OF LIVING MY LIFE THIS WAY...
Can you please please just break my pathetic heart so i would give up hope and this meaningless waiting?...
Lalala~~ Crapping...
Volleyball days... SIAN...play sub set was worse den setter, the setter seldom set for sub set and sub set everything tio KS by setter zzz...JUST FREAKING GO WITH THE FLOW AND PLAY MY GAME...
WHUTEVER LA!!!!
Bubye! GTG, CYA AND TC...

2007-11-10T07:38:00.000-08:00

Holidays are here! Happy holidays to everyone!...
zzz...hols...wake up, play comp, eat, sleep... ITS SUPER SIANZ!!!
ANYBODY WANT GO oUT!?!?!?!? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BRING ME ALONG!!! T.T...
Im practically rotting at home this few days...and the volleyball training just wastes my time more -.-...
Login to update the links and crap around...
I don't even have anything to think about this few days thanks to the fact that she turned cold on me and everything seems ever so bleak no that shes gone...
Neber mind...consoling myself...I AIN'T DESPO NO MORE...now is SUPER dESPO!...
13 years old boy, chinese, right hander, black hair, weird ears, wears specs, play all computer games, pierced before but took out, play all card games, sociable, hand phone on 24/7 so 24 hours chatting service is practically AVAILABLE! Plays alot of sports, quite tanned, height 160 and a dunno emo, LOOKING FOR sTEAD! xDDDD for more enquries please call the number for those who know me already or add me on hotmail. =D
I sound nutz or maybe im just bored out of my mind xD...anything...lalalala~...
ENjoy your hols everybody and may you have a plasant hols! =)

2007-11-02T03:37:00.000-07:00

Yada Yada Yada...Holidays here and sucked...so sianz
Nothing better to do den stay at home to chiong new maple char...T.T...
ANYBODY wan go out? im bored to tears...
She don' talk nor chat wit me liao...sibei bored... Wat can i expect?
i tio reject means byebye liao...Haish...never should have tried since i ain't got no chance from the very start...i suck...

2007-10-31T03:35:00.000-07:00

Sessh, just shut the yap up if ya gonna talk crap and give false hope...
Everytime say give me chance den i dun appreciate it and make use of it...
WHEN I FREAKING PERFORMED WELL, he just praised for that day and forgot everything the next and i just remain as a freaking reserve...
SO DAM U!...cannot hope for the best and prepare for the worst cause i know if he my coach i no nid hope for the best derhs, he only freaking know how to give the worse...
So dam hate it, no matter how hard i try, it just be forgotten the next day and the people im challenging ARE TALL! dun he bloody see?... say wat got skills...IF ITS THE HEIGHT DEN JUZ SAY LA! even them themselves admit that its due to their height -.-...
Talk crap...
Don't feel like going for training...Go there and waste time nia...

2007-10-30T08:19:00.000-07:00

Haha suddenly changed song xD...
No need look, this song is for you derhs...
Getting over you liao...=D....i guess i've made the wrong decision...
SORRY!....

2007-10-29T07:53:00.000-07:00

I often ask people why but i never try to answer their "whys"...
Okay, let me start by saying im upset and unhappy cause of some volleyball matters but mostly is because she don't talk to me like she use to, she don't chat with me like we use to, she avoids me like i don't use to, i find it hard to even just TALK to her...
Volleyball:
Feeling tired cause it seem impossible for me to get back into main 6...Ok fine, i admit that my spiking ain't that good anymore and i've been change to setter (i think) cause got too many spikers...Afraid i won't be able to set as well as the others as it has been quite sometime since i last played as setter...
Her:
Don't want to talk about the bad times. Flooding myself with the good times just to stay oblivion to the fact that shes gone already despite all that i've done... I don't regret letting her leave without stopping her but i regret not loving her enough...im such a lousy guy...I want to just pluck up my courage to confess but whenever i see her smile or whenever she talks to me i just loses all of my courage like i never had them in the first place...I can't help but to think of her sweet sweet smile...
I just wanna forget about all the bad times i had in with you but whenever i try to touch them, it hurts straight to the bones...Is it because i've hurt you too much for me to understand or their here to stay with me forever?...

All these just keeps me going...
JIAYOU! I can do it derhs...Get back into Main 6! and try to get a chance with you instead of making myself a clown in front of you again... i SWEAR i TRY...
Bubye ALL!!! TAke care during holS!! =D

2007-10-24T06:41:00.000-07:00

Nothing to do...Sianz sianz...juz changed the song since few ppl listen to Jrock...
This song is Jenny by Click five, ENJOY! =D

2007-10-19T08:17:00.000-07:00

On my way home today...
Lightning tore the skies apart, innocent clouds shed tears of blood that drenched every inch of my shattered and broken heart. I couldn't help but wonder could i just die and vanish without a trace. I often wish that my cries for help could be heard by a ear that knows the sound of a newborn baby's cry and the same time, the screams of terror...Just forget about me, nobody can save me or should i say, nobody will even bother to try. Loneliness has become one of my best friends but i would rather be its memories instead of a burden. Not even the serenity was spared, it was silenced forever by troubles and burdens that seems endless...I often count the nights i couldn't see you but you never fail to count the days you succeed in not seeing me. Ignorance is a bliss? In this case, to you it is...You just love to abhor me. Killing myself to get rid of loneliness. Bang! One shot thats all it needs...

2007-10-17T06:26:00.000-07:00

Haish... Exams over lerhs got other things to worry about, FOR EXAMPLE...
THE RESULTS
NO MONEY FOR HOLS
TOO LONG NEVER PLAY SPORTS
MUST WORK DOUBLY HARD NEXT YEAR
.... HAISH...
DAmmit... WHAT I DO TO SMASH BOREDOM TO SMITTERINS!?
PLay: Audition, o2Jam, Duel master, Metal slug and my Handphone >(SIANZ)<
Want go out but no money...
Think: What will results be? How will i fair? Will i be able to pass all?...
Count: The number of nights left till I face the music...
I have a bad feeling thats tells me i will flunk it...
MAN! I REALLY WANNA SHOOT MYSELF IN THE HEAD!...
Anyway gtg cya! TAKE CARE...

2007-10-10T08:41:00.000-07:00

English Translations for the song:
[REGRET]
Lyrics: Ruki
Composition: Dai Nihon Itan Geisha
Translation: Liz K & Jessica Rains

Noticing the loosened thread, I should've kept tight forever.
That which overflowed and spilled out, seems the same color as you that day.

Gathering up, the words you abandoned
Putting them to my ears again and again, I showed you a nod.

Burning pink neon, with the reason I can't find you

The screams were soon, written off as ridiculous. I laughed at myself

Noticing the loosened thread, I should've kept tight forever.
That which overflowed and spilled out, feels the same as you did that day.

Gathering up, the tears that you cried
I go to fold the chair, that I fall into again and again

We stood together on the road

I got a piercing just like you
I wore a ring just like you
and put on rouge just like you

I coloured my hair the same as yours
I saw tears that look like yours
Because I cried out a name the same as yours

Down my fingertips, serenity waltzes

Someday, we’ll be holding hands

In a drenched end roll, I wont sing a black-and-white film
Left with our hands together, you feel vacant at the end

Cutting the loosened thread, I sleep with the gathered words
That which overflowed and spilled out, surely closely resembles you.

Dreams are eternally as dreams

Serenity is always in dreams

2007-10-10T00:13:00.000-07:00

DANG!!! Just as my luck was taking a U-turn for the better the luck met with an accident -.-... Freaky....
Lets see... My luck ran out for oral, picture was crap...
Had a BAD HAIR DAY and I MEAN IT... Didn't put wax so teacher wouldn't nag... and...IT SUCKS MAN!!! BIG TIME!!!....
Haish...Everytime i see this empty white blank for me to shout i always forget what i want to say but it makes me feel better to type just about anything here...
BOMBSHELLS!!! see them before?...Dropping on you but you didn't run and took it cause you know it ain't gonna do nothing...
I HATE IT WHEN IM RIGHT...When im right confirm something bad will happen derhs like something good will end for sure and something bad will start for sure...
And i thought hols were great...never knew it was gonna be pure boredom...i never thought i'll say this but HOLIDAYS SUCKS...
DAM! too long never exercise now no strength already...No goals in life liao...
Just when i thought i was right, she had to prove me wrong...
Crapping crapping crapping...gtg cya bye

2007-09-24T01:56:00.000-07:00

Today started with a series of unfortunate event, can't believe how unlucky i was...
Went to school as usual to face the problems and try to see through this facade of life. Do you really want to know whats the real meaning of hope for me? hope is just a wasted faith used on something you know that will never happen...
Why hope when you know it will happen? The outcome is determined by you and only you, winners make things happen while losers let things happen...What never fails to make me wonder is, what's going to happen the very next seconds of my life? Will i just be goned into obilvion and disappear? will i lose everything that i have now?...
This thoughts were curved on my mind and it never fails to remind me with pain that time ain't stopping no matter what and its up to you on how you want to spend this 60-80 years of your life while you still can... I hate the images of people getting hurt in anyway flashing pass my mind, it hurts me more than it hurts them...
Let me explain the meaning of UNFORTUNATE with the story im about to share with whoever that reads this " Monday at School "...
A day is actually 24 hours of time for your to spend, sleep kills 6 hours and leaves you with 18 hours...I'm not sure if what i saw what real but i think its reality as she even waved to me although im not very sure of it...Thats strike 1 for UNLUCKY and 2 mroe strikes to go...
My teacher confisicated my phone abruptly without inqiuring what i was doing with it, i was smsing to my friends that i'm changing my phone number with effect from today cause i thought the teacher was giving oral thus did not pay attention to us but i was proved wrong the very next minute...Thats strike 2 for UNLUCKY day and 1 more strike before it all ends...
The last one is i flunked my english compo and my writing sucked cause i was rushing for time and i kind of scribbled the whole compo thus was scolded for writing illegibly and TADA! STRIKE 3 YOUR OUT!...
My UNLUCKY day...hoping for the best and preparing for the worse...
Thats all i have to say, bubye....

2007-09-19T05:12:00.001-07:00

Anybody wanna know a 5 letter word for exam? S I A N Z
Exams coming liao, must mug so hard, headache sia... haish... Just found out im ain't me no more, change too much already compared to the start of the year... I can't believe im saying this but my vocab is SHRINKING... Now can't even think of a sophiscated phrase or word to describe myself now, haish...
English COmpos here i come, i will conquer you and in return i will score and pass it with flying colours ( sorray, juz went nutz xD) ...
Seriously don't know what i can blabber about here...
WELL~ i actually got something i wanna say...I JUST WANA LIVE!...
DOn't need to be dumbfound or fabblergasted that i actually study alot for my exams...Mind in a whirl now, can't even think straight due to recurring headaches that is spliting my head apart T.T...
bubye for now...

2007-09-15T04:43:00.001-07:00

Nah...I saw through your lies like its totally transparent... i can't believe i actually believe u... I know that you ABHOR me, JUZ SAY -.-....
Dun tell me craps like, lets us just stay the way it is now...i would have prefer u said nothing at all or just tell me that you hate me... YOU DUN EVEN NOE ME...
FINE! I stop bothering you...i'll be gone...not because i hate you but because i just wanna remember and cherish the good times and forget bout the rest...
and i also want you to know, i'll always love you and nothing less...
haish... im so crapped out but never mind, atleast i still have me xD....
Volleyball so far so good...still can whack down... and studies still have been able to cope so my life is still in 1 piece...EXAMS coming, must concentrate and listen during lessons...Wish me luck for miie exams! =D cya all!!
Bubye...

2007-09-09T06:22:00.000-07:00

AHHH!!!!!AHHHH!!!!AHH!!!!! I JUST WANNA lIVE A SIMPLE LIFE DAMMIT!!!! NOT A LIFE BOMBARDED BY HOMEWORK AND TROUBLES!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!! I GIVE UP!!!!! T.T....
Feel like commiting suicide...Just think of it, i will be free of all troubles and i can forget bout everything....
Bubye cruel world...

2007-08-24T06:31:00.000-07:00

Have you ever feel that you've tried very hard in doing something but you just feel that you'll never be able to complete it? Thats not the end, you felt that theres a must to do it and nothing can stop you at all?...
I have this feeling almost everyday...I can give this 2 following examples...
I tried so hard to be good enough in volleyball just to be in the main 6 and play for the school but no matter how hard i try i just feel that im not good enough...
It just feels so no right for me to give up or surrender when i still have the energy to go on and i'll try...Try means you do your best till you succeed and not just anyhow try and give up...I want to prove to myself that despite my height,I can still play better than others and will not lose out cause the word losing don't and never will exist in me...I will always try my best...
The other example is about the girl i love, it just seem so uncunning and unreachable... I tried so hard just to be the one and only one but all i can be is the one you ignore and push out the doors of your heart...Why can i never be good enough? i tried and i tried but i was treated as a fool all the time but i din't mind at all...I don't mind that you don't like me, I just want to let you know that i do and being friends is very good already for me...I don't expect, I just hope...
In my heart, you are ever so pretty and kind...Nothing can taint your ravishing beauty, not even the any act of yours...
All I ask for is for you to believe that I seriously love you wholeheartedly and nothing lesser but i could hardly talk to you and it seems like your hatred for me ain't going away and i just couldn't figure out why I can't be the one...
Whenever I talk to you, your eyes just twinkle ever so brightly like the stars that light up the night sky...
I just hope that you would understand my feelings for you because I don't have the courage to tell you face to face cause I know i ain't good enough for you...
All this shows that trying just ain't enough, i'll just have to do it despite of all the obstacles in my way...Don't tell me i ran out of time cause I don't mind waiting for you all my life...
My exam results this term ain't that good so I seriously have to buck up for SA2 and I ain't trying, I will do it for sure...and I ain't giving up...
Got to go for now...bubye all! =)
P.S. The girl i'm referring to most probably not who you think she is, only minor know who and by minor i mean 2-4 xD so in case you thought of the wrong person...=D

2007-08-22T06:01:00.000-07:00

WAHAHA! Today played frenly with clementi woods sec and guess wat? WE WON!! xD
BUT we lost the last set T.T... COZ Miie MISSED the last spike ='(
Neber mind...everybody makes mistakes rite? xD ( excuses for myself)
ARGH!!! Slept during geo class, was so freaking tired lor! coz last night dunno slept at what time and the lesson was so freaking boring ZZZ...
WOOHOO!!! gt A1 for SCIENCE!!! 26/30 for paper, 8/15 for practical ( could have gotten 10 but was careless T.T) and 5/5 for chart!!! altogether 2(26+8+5)=78!!!A1!!!=D
Sianz sianz sianz... REALLY NEED MY SLEEP...zzz So long for now! cya =D bubye...

2007-08-14T03:09:00.000-07:00

AHH!!!! My CA2 results shet liao... History only got 25.5 WTF? and MATHS only... 12!!!!!! WAT THE HELL!?!??!?!!??!! the first time i ever fail a test...U know y? CARELESS,NO TIME and...A FREAKING SPOILT COMPASS FOR ME TO FAIL -.-...
DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!!!! LIFE SUCKS!!! i realised that i cannot concentrate during class and i know that i used to score well coz i listen during class and did not need to study for test but now? dun even have the time to study for test -.-...
Guess wat? today was science practical and english editing, sci i confirm flunk one coz i din't have the time to collate all the 3 tables into 1 table and ended up the 4th table looked weird...
As for english editing....i realised i did wrong for one of he questions in cloze passage and the editing i also realised how cock-eyed i was to miss out the word labor and forgot to edit to labour T.T...
DIe liao lor....
Luckily tis only CA2 only 10% of the whole year so its my call to wake up and stop dreaming... I'm gonna try and work harder for quality results, just u wait and see...

2007-08-12T05:27:00.000-07:00

AHH!!!! DAM SIANZ...its exam exam exam exams...no time to even exercise xD
This is like to boring, everytime i see the blank space for me to type my post, my mind just goes blank and TADA! i dunno what to write lol...
So much for BOredOM... TATA~ gtg bye...

2007-08-03T07:43:00.000-07:00

Life is so far so good and that is if good is another word to represent the phrase " ROLLING down The HiLL"... Common test week here liao then i sick, WTF!?...
The geography and history paper all so hard derhs then next week is english, chinese and science...HEADACHE SIA...
Exams round the corner don't even have time for myself or friends...and needless to say her... Im trying my best already but it still doesn't seem enough...
Feeling that im experiencing DeJavu, All the bad things that happened to me in the past seems like it is repeating itself and i ain't enjoying...
I HATE THE FEELING THAT IM BECOMING STUPIDIER BY THE SECOND...I TOO LONG NEBER STUDY LERHS, BECOMING MORE AND MORE STUPID LERHS T.T...
AHHH!!!! Really wanna just scream out loud!!! But then again, who cares?...
i could only suffer in silence and watch the others who are much better off than me... Well... this is life....JUST ACCEPT IT!~
Facing reality now...my right ear after so long still stuck lor...DAMMIT!!!!
WHATEVER....BYEBYE....

2007-07-26T21:18:00.001-07:00

Translation for song YOU by KAT-TUN ( Thanks alot peimin =D ) GOnna change the song later
KAT-TUN - YOU [TRANSLATIONS]

I wonder if it’s okay for me to live for you?
I wonder if it’s okay for me to fall in love with you?
I wanna be your lover

[Koki's rap]

That transparent smile that I can seemingly reach if I stretch out my hand
It even twinkles, it’s so precious that I can’t take my eyes off you baby
These feelings are unable to betray you even if I get hurt, I don’t mind
I can only heatedly show you my heart

I wonder if it’s okay for me to live for you?
I want to share just one dream with you
I wonder if it’s okay for me to fall in love with you?
I want to wrap you up softly and protect you

There’s no need for decorated words being strategic and such doesn’t suit me
There’s nothing that I’m hiding, I can't take my eyes off you baby
There are no lies in these feelings about the same as the blue of the sky
The beating of my heart from gazing at you now I don’t want to run from it

I don’t need anything else but you
No matter what kind of sadness, we can get through it
I want to be holding the person important to me
The heartbeat that starts from the two of us

I wonder if it’s okay for me to live for you?
I want to share just one dream with you
I wonder if it’s okay for me to fall in love with you?
I want to wrap you up softly and protect you

[Koki's rap]

We don’t need to pretend or anything because there’s a tomorrow
Take out your courage it can become freedom

Getting past solitude, I’ve finally come across
a miracle that’s being called out by angels, yeah
Recognize my caring, allow my love
Unfasten your heart and come to me, yeah

I wonder if it’s okay for me to live for you?
I want to share just one dream with you
I wonder if it’s okay for me to fall in love with you?
I want to wrap you up softly and protect you

I don't need anybody else but you
No matter what kind of sadness, we can get through it
I want to be holding the person important to me

Two becomes one...

2007-07-26T21:18:00.000-07:00

AHHH DAM SIANZ LA!!!! LIFE SO LONELY DERHS... i RATEHR DIE!!! GOOD BYE ALL.....LIFE SUCKS.....no body even cares rite?....

2007-07-17T03:43:00.000-07:00

Hiash...people always say that their life sucks, its boring and some even say that they wanna end it or something liddat and that "people" doesn't exclude me...
But i kinda went through my thoughts and i kinda came out with my own defination of life...life is a period of time where u can do watever you want in this world of ours and this time is limited and you can never turn back and say that you want to be 13 again when your 30+...
Im afraid to die actually becuase the moment i die i will lose everything...you might be reincarnated but hey, will you still be u? and will you still get to know the people you know in this life?...
Im actually happy to know that if someone hates me cause i know that the "someone" knows that i exist...
In this period of time, im tryin not to bring sad memories with me cause it will only make me feel more miserable about growing up and be more aware that my time is running out...
This is my 13th year in this world and im already starting to afriad of losing everything i have now...i used to juz keep saying tat life and boring and the world is unfair to you...but i woke up to my foolishness coz you think the world is unfair to you only dun make things fair for yourself...prove yourself and dun keep complaining about LIFE coz its ur own time, either you waste it or you make use of it...
People dun really understand what does it really feel like to be bored and lonely, the real feeling is that you dun have anything to even think about and thats when your life comes to a ","....
If anybody is giving you as hard time, maybe its juz fate, juz treat it as an obstacle in life and the person who made you who u are today is testing your ability to adapt...
I juz wanna have a carefree life, i dun expect things to go my way always i juz hope...
When things dun go my way, i juz hope and try to change things for myself coz its my life and i dun wanna waste my time...
i ain't giving up my life til im satisfied bout the things i've done with my life...
Bout volleyball? i'll juz try my best and if its still not enough, i'll juz accept my role as a reserve and play carefreely and who knows? i might even enjoy it...
Thats all i have to say for now and its up to you people to agree or disagree and since its your lifes, i dun have any rights to decide...
i juz wanna say thanks my friends and family for caring and i really dun regret knowing my friends and even if they did wrong things to me...
Thats all for now~ =) bubye!!!

2007-07-04T20:46:00.000-07:00

HAISH...life juz sucks for me so dun bother to ask me how i am...
Now i know what is it like for some students who dun have handphone,friends and anybody to talk to...it feels s lonely...
I HATE BEING ALONE... I dunno is this just a facade of life or izzit real for me...i dun dare to face reality and neither do i dare to love but i do love somebody...
i've been hurted badly since the first time i love and it scarred me so badly tat it still hurts now...
now i only dare to look at the girl i love and i dun even to confess coz im really afraid of losing her so i rather she was juz a fren...
this life is so sad and lonely... so long for now....
(Read my previous post)

2007-06-29T04:35:00.000-07:00

Have you ever not made a person's life miserable and not realise it even til today?... i wanna THank you for nothing, you made life freaking miserable for me but i ain't making yours any better... WHO U THINK U ARE?
Juz because you think ur so great, did u think tat u can juz run away after wat you have done and think tat im only gonna hate u and thats all? well....IT ISN'T GONNA BE SO SIMPLE...
I HATE U U BLOODY FREAKS... Revenge is gonna taste so sweet... I'll make sure that your life goes down the hill and NEVER COMES UP EVER AGAIN....
Try pissing me off and u'll know wat hell taste like... I feel sorry for those i hurt but never sorry for those who hurt me...
DID u ever think tat juz by saying that i'll hate u and u can juz forget bout everything? NEVER...
IF i hate u, its never gonna end that easily... U irresponsible jerks... U FREAKS are only out to make my life worse!
I ain't letting u go... i'll MAKE SURE u get wat u deserve....
Juz the minute i thought my life was the worse, you idiots have to go make things even more worse... PEOPLE ARE SO TOTALLY RIDICULOUS....
Juz becuase u dump a girl and the girl crys the whole school will treat u like a jerk, WHY THE HELL?...
I have my own reasons, its not like im being unreasonable or something... I CAN"T COPE WITH MY STUDIES AND THE CAPTAINS AND COACH OF THE VOLLEYBALL prac only MADE THINGS WORSE... IM DAMN SICK AND TIRED OF ALL OF THESE!!
Look at the break up from another angle, what if the girl dumps me? Will the skool treat her as a flirt? NO RITE?...they will only think that its natural...
WHY AM I SAYING ALL THESE????? Especially when nobody can hear me.... They only know how to criticise me and make things worse....
HATE ME FOR ALL U WANT TO BUT KEEP IN MIND THAT I MIGHT JUZ HATE U TOO...
Have fun with your pathetic life... GONNA FACE THE SUFFERING....
People said that they HATE my ATTITUDE but i mean...WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH IT?...
I give up coz i tried my best, i dun have some much time to waste on others... ATLEAST I TRIED! whats wrong with giving up after u tried?... My attitude is that i treat u the way u treat me... AND coz someone cried and im being labelled a jerk, NOW I HAVE NO MORE FRENZ LEFT... Freak u... YOU WIN,I HATE U!... ITS JUZ ISN'T FAIR!... Why izzit always because of something dumb that i lose my frenz?.... am i so nice to bully?.... and im telling u that I AIN'T HAPPY AT ALL...
DAMMIT... really wish that my life with end here... ITS ALL BECAUSE OF U TIS PEOPLE TATS WHY LONERS AND EMOS EVEN EXSTIECE..... Breaking down already...life is a wreck for some but a bed of roses for the bullies and idiots... I HATE YOU....

2007-06-25T08:30:00.000-07:00

Back to post, juz felt like it but dunno wat to post xD...
okie lets start with my weird weird wishes and self introduction bahs...
WISHES
1) EARS DUN GET ANY BIGGER
2)Lead a carefree life
3)Can dun cut hair xD
4)SCORE HIGH HIGH MARKS FOR Exams
HATES
1) THE BARBER
2)being criticised
3) FAKERS
Scared of
1)Weirdly, looking at chio bus
2) My teachers xD
3)Having a stead
LOVE
1) Chocolates
2) watching it rain
3) listening to korean songs although dunno wat it means...

WEIRD RITE? okie i gtg for now CYA!!!
Im so weird xD....<><><><>

2007-06-24T08:25:00.000-07:00

BOO!!!!! HOlidays end liao...SIANZ...gonna get scolded by teacher tmr, CONFIRM DERHS....
So many things i din't get to do in holidays and i wasted so much time during the start of the holidays.... now regret too late liaos....
NEVERMIND!!! iWILLstrive!!!!! XD
updated some stuffs in my blog and change the song ENJOY!!!...
gonna go do some last minute preparations for tmr lerhs!!! SO LONG FOR NOW....

2007-06-20T06:03:00.000-07:00

Holidays while flipping through the photo albums i came across a photo tat made my heart sang XD...i saw a photo of hui ting tat i took when i was pri 2 then i started to think back...
She was like so chio and i didn't realise budden think again i was only pri 2 back den so do i even care? =.="... Haix... thinking bout it now only makes me regret...
We used to hang out at the void deck to have fun with my cousin but now i dun even think that she would recognise me if she sees me now T.T ...
Kinda miss her nowadays whenever i see the photo... it reminded me of something stupid i did on 14/02/02 xD okie fine its not bout her okie? ahhax...
Funny speaking, im already sec one and im talking bout a thing tats 5 years ago...
Im suppose to treat all these as memories but i juz couldn't... I dun wanna let go of all these...
My teacher used to say Don't cry because its over but laugh because u got to have it...
I feel so happy tat i actually knew such a good fren in the past but i didn't cherish it...
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistakes, i could never turn back the clock but i could cherish the memories and i hereby thank you for the memories...
Still remember all my primary 1 and 2 friends xD... THANK YOU FOR ALL THOSE TIMES!!!!
<>

2007-06-15T21:13:00.000-07:00

haiz...I HATE HOLIDAYS!!!!!!
1) SO MUCH HOMEWORK
2) HOLIDAY LIKE NO HOLIDAY
3)Cannort see frenz T.T
Grr...why everything i wanna bad mouth somebody i will always forget derhs???? and when i remeber wat to say i will dun feel like it lerhs....Dun care larx...
Volleyball i play until dam fruastrated...THIS NOT OK TAT NOT OK...BIASED SIA... Lemme ask u guys, have you ever heard coach saying fadz or justin not performing??? no rite? den me i dunno he say how many times already ( DUN EVEN BOTHER TO COUNT)
Im happy as long as i tried my best... I mean its like so sianz nowadays... i rather it to be like primary school training liddat, no stress and carefree so tat you can relax and play at your best...
HAIZ.....SECONDARY SCHOOL SUCKS and i HATE IT.....All my holiday assignment undone and planning to do it only later....
Things juz dun work out for me...its like whenever i thought i already gt wat i wanted den its like somebody or sumthing will juz take it away from you and leave u hanging... YOu people always get wat u want so u most probably won't understand me...
SO LONG FOR NOW...BAck to mY Boring life

2007-06-03T02:32:00.000-07:00

HOlidays here le worz... HAVING HOLIDAY FEVER....so sick of holiday lerhs....
1.SO MUCH HOMEWORK
2.holidays like no holidays...so many days muz go back skool...
3.At home cannort go out like prison liddat
Haix....i gtg lerhs....Bubye all...

2007-05-23T05:35:00.000-07:00

posting now AGAIN
Contented= 0%
Miserable=5%
PISSED OFF=95%...
Bloody hell...today so unlucky...EFL until 2.10 i mean i WTF i today CCA 2.30 start den only give me 20 minutes to change and eat...VERY UNFAIR LEH!!!! they actually muz let us go at 1.10 de lor...BUT thnx to my kind and understanding teacher and coach xD ( being ironic here) they SPARED us 15 minutes more to eat coz they know tat we were released VERY LATE =.=...
This one i dun care le but wat reallly pissed me off was they FREAKING CIP HOURS STUFF...
The damned sissy of my class and the corrupted treasurer ( i veli good neber say names le worz ) ganged up already bully me like hell le den plus tat b**** they invincible le...they are out to MINIMIZE my CIP hours...
Heres wat happened:
Yesterday ( 22 May ) they doing the class flag so i offered help but the b**** didn't do anything den she get the CIP hours, erm... well... she did sumthing and that is threaten to throw my handphone down stairs if i dun return her $8 den i snatched the phone she not happy den say i dun do anything so LEAVE...den i pissed off so i left lor...but wat weird was tat i asked larry den they say do class flag NO CIP HOURS...In order to shut her up, i returned her $8 the following day...
TODAY gt the happy toilet things den the sissy was saying tat huiling gt the most CIP hours( 5-6 hours) in the class, i was like WTF...Xiu Ming did the spongebob den lesser CIP hours den her!? i dun believe it! Huiling like hypocrite de lor, everything muz do to let other ppl see den she get more while xiu ming does so much he doesn't even talks abt the CIP hours...SO UNFAIR... Today i wan to go help the happy toilet thing den when i reached there lovel told me to either shut up or help den i see nothing to help so i shut up lor den when the corrupted treasurer came she keep saying:" Stand and watch NO CIP HOURS HOR! "...den nothing to help le tats y i watching wat...i goddam pissed off lor! BLAME ME FOR NOTHING AT ALL! BULLIES!!!! i freaking hell left the next minute, can't be bothered to stay and watch for another second...
AHHHH!!!!!!!!
U guys dun trust me lez...SO UNFAIR DE LOR!!! EVERYBODY BULLY ME!!!!! I HATE EVERYBODY!!!!!!....

2007-05-19T05:35:00.000-07:00

AHhaix....UPdating now!
Really very sianz and busy til dun feel like updating my blog lez...really nothing to write about de lor. Life is like so friggen BORING...can't find a thing to spend my time on other den staring at my pc or chatting. My bloody maths and science files die for sure lez, my friend handed up my maths file with some pages missing and my other fren handed up her sci file without letting me photocopy some of the pages although i informed her earlier on =.=...
BLOODY HELL......U BUNCH OF WHINERS AIN"T NOE NOTHING BOUT HELL....
ARGH!!!!....fine watever life throws at me i'll juz receive it or i'll juz throw it back IN ITS FACE...

2007-04-24T06:40:00.000-07:00

ahhax...IM TELLING ALL WHOSE GIVING ME ADVICE.....S*** U* XD....
JKJK i put tis song only coz very nice...
THANK YOU ALL THOSE WHOSE BEEN GIVING ME ADVICES!!!!!
Been quite happy tis few days but IM NOT SATIsFIED WITH MY HAIR =.=.....
my mom forced me to cut it and it turn out to be like a bowl or mushroom and it SUCKS...i wonder ms ng ermhem(no offence worz) she eye put stamp ar? she said i look better liddist
*PUKE*
I RATHER CUT GI AND LET IT GROW OUT OSO LOOK NICER =.=.....
Dun care so much le, holiday cut GI den wait for it to grow lor XD.
There my teacher went again, PULL UP UR SOCKS(real socks not studies XD) my socks cannot pull already den she still tell me to pull .....and my frens ar....haix....give me a FREEZING-shoulder, sometimes i even wonder do i still hab frens?.....My frenz are having NEW FRENS and ignoring me sobx sobx. CME time le hor XD, should i 4get abt them after shouting in their face that they are very lousy frenz or bear with it or take the initiative?....hmmm.....i guess i go with option number 1...HAHAX...no la, i confirm go with 2 one hehex.
Disclaimer horz: DUN GET THE IDEA THAT IM PUTTING TIS SONG FOR E TEACHER =.=
i now SUPER SIANZ...studying for tmr geo test, muz prepare if not sure fail one. WISH ME LUCK! =P and gd luck to everybody whose taking the test!
People are criticising me AGAIN....juz like old times XD....but tis turn i dun really care coz its NATURAL, i mean who wouldn't wan to CRITICISE AKA VERBAL BULLY someone like me? ?_?.......confirm gt one so i told myself to ignore lor ahhax.
GTG le....i'll update ur links the next time i online sorry T.T....
BUBYE PEOPLE!!!!! =)

2007-04-19T06:18:00.000-07:00

TODAY:
I went to skool with only with loneliness to accompany me. I was deep in my thoughts while crossing the road and i nearly gt ran down by a car...The misery was so great that even the flowers weren't spared...Each pitiful one of them wither painfully. The trees were crying and the clouds bursting into tears. It reminds me of who i used to be in pri school each time a drip of their tears touch my face. I din't regret changing, i regretted not being myself anymore...I've no more frens 2 speak of. No more loyalty,no more faith, no more trust...this world has become so grey for me. I wondered y didn't i juz take teh car head on and leave tis storage of misery u people call world...Im killing time and manslaughtering my sanity. im going nutz each passing moment...LEAVE ME ALONE. I had enough...My dying wish is juz to see her smile once more, i noe tat im worthless 2 her but i wan her to noe that her smile means everything to me.Juz cut myself on the finger unknowingly...I gazed at my blood and reflected the things i did wrong to u...i shouldn't had been a fool...im really sorry. Now i realise why can't i be the one...I know that u din't allow me to even glance at u coz u tink i was ugly, u din't allow me to tok to u too...even on msn...but i din't give up... I gave up the moment u had a stead, coz i noe its over for me...MY LOVE AIN'T WORTH A SHIT TO U RIGHT?....Im so useless... i tried to make u happy in many ways but u only showed a fake smile. Tears of blood trickled down my face when u said that the only way to make u happy was to not see u ever again...I followed it but it wasn't enough....I RATHER BE DEAD........RIP Here lies Kevin Teo Shun Keat......The goner.....I have no more frenz to relate to anymore, its juz fate. Im fated to be hated and a loner...

TO MY FRENZ: u guys should noe who im writing to
TO U: I've tried and tried hoping that u would one day accept me but i doubt that day is gonna come....

2007-04-15T08:31:00.000-07:00

Ahhax...im back...tmr gonna start skool le...tis weekend very packed and the teachers so merciless one T.T give me so much homework...
Friday: Vb prac untill 6.30 den go play basketball til 10.30 den do a little homework den ZzZzZz
Saturday: Morning ZZZ until 11.30 den meet fren at Sun Plaza mac 12.30 do do homework den go arcade to chill out til 5 o clock den only did SOME homework XD.....
SUNDAY: (MOST PACKED ONE) Morning 10 o clock wake up den go escape but SO HOT den dun feel like playing anything....den 3 o clock head back den i 3.50 go to chong pang cc for vb prac until 7 o clock den go my grandma's hus to celebrate my uncle's b day with steamboat YUMMY!!! XD....9.30 den go home to do homework....now is 11.35 le....so gt some haben finish so tmr going skool to do...
HAIX....tmr go skool the hair tio ban le....fri my maths teacher find me trouble....go tell me wash off the wax........tmr dunno do wat with hair le so now i brainstorming on a new hairstyle XD but i guess i wax the front but dun wax back lor....
I WISH:
1.My ears won't grow any bigger
2.Some school rules like: no ear stick, no styling of hair, no low belt, no low pants, no tucking out and no colourful frames dun exist at all XD......
3.Know a way how to cope with homeworks and exams
4.SLEEP XD....
5.Do well in everything i do

Very practical ehh? XD...I gtg le,Bubye ALL!!!!! rmb to tag worz XD Good nite n have a nice day!

2007-04-13T07:32:00.000-07:00

FINE!!!! i admit defeat XD I SURRENDER u guys win.....
INDEED giving them false hope is very wrong srry for not realising that...thanks fer telling me XD......
AND BTW IM NVR GONNA GO EMO!!!!!
Ain't giving false hope anymore...i now know that its worse den not telling them truthfully in the first place...gonna learn from my mistake...next time (IF GOT) i will be frank but i doubt so will hab XD......
HONESTY is the best policy ahhax....
Its true anyway...IM SO WRONG....im such a jerk......
SORRY AND THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO CARED! =)

2007-04-12T02:41:00.000-07:00

okays.....i now posting something which i think that is important to some ppl...
(NEWS FLASH)
1) I broke up with hui xiang
2) many people are gonna hate or they already started to hate me
3)Bought a birthday cake with yuan zhong and sen wee for pearleen and justin
4) WENT NUTZ TODAY.....DUN CARE......ITS BETTER FOR EVERYONE.....
5) srry hui xiang
6)everybody,hate me if u wan to...im prepared for it before i broke up with her...
7) A little afraid of becoming a loner but its quite unaviodable i guess...
8)Not free this weekend coz sunday gt vb prac and sat gonna go excape
........saturday who want go escape? plz inform me by friday THANKS!
plz go if possible,inviting everybody i know so if dun wan come nvr mind.....DISCLAMIERS: im not forcing anybody XD
9)Now single le... Dun love anybody...
10) My class tee e name i put BlueBoiBoi(anyhow put one) sekali dun hab make XD but neber mind.....

ALL 10 POINTS OF ME DAY HERE LE
GTG go take a bath and do homework le....boiboi signin off, BUBYE! =)