Friday, November 21, 2008
CAUSE IF YOU JUMP, I WILL JUMP TOO! WE WOULD FALL TOGETHER lols listening to the song while posting, the vocalist rocks man. I SWEAR I'LL LEARN HOW TO PLAY THIS SONG ON Guitar and play it just for you =D. CauseIWouldDieForYou haha
Its been quite a eventful week, times flying away T.T Theres like a SUPER thick layer of dust on my homework, wait a minute. WHERES MY HOMEWORK? O.O AHHHH!!!!
Been thinking for quite sometime le, decided that its best if i just give up, sui ren wo hen ai ni. ke shi wo zi dao wo wu fa gae ni xing fu he kuai le. I respect it and IM GETTING OVER YOU(atleast im trying =D)(or maybe i've already succeeded xD)
Next year new class! = NEW CLASSMATES T.T... I miss 2/3, thinking bout the times we shared, the fun, not so fun and great times we had. its been a GREAT 2 YEARs! WO SHE BU DE T.T... Lets get together again sometime yea? FRENS FOREVER! 2/3 0'8 ^^
Tmr my di(huiling) going china le, have fun yea? take care oso =).
Wo xian zai cai fa xian yuan lai fen kang shi yi zhong na mo tong kui de gan jue...
She bu de ye shi mei yong de. Memories are worth more than anything else to me now. Thats all for this post ba, NOT EMO LE! =D Cause WO FANG SHOU LE. Ni kuai le, wo jue kuai le.
6:04 AM;
Friday, November 14, 2008
And I'm feeling: Lost, Cheated, Lied to, Pathetic, Hopeless, Breatheless, Helpless, Suffocated, Afraid, Restless, Worried and Going nutz.
I mean, I lost everything I could possibly lose. My life is practically over except for the fact that I'm still alive and breathing. Do people know how much a lie can hurt someone?
Who can I trust now? Nobody, nobody at all. I'm so afraid of lies that the only choice I've got is to not trust anybody anymore. Why are people so selfish? Always thinking of only themselves, never giving a thought about how others feel. I had to forsake my trust just so that I won't feel hurt no more. Empty promises, twisted lies, flithy compromises, guiltless abandon.
When people lie to me, I somehow just know the ending but din't wanna be a wet blanket. Taking the pain silently used to be one of my hobbies but I'm sick of it! I'm the gatekeeper of my own fate and destiny, thats the only thing that keeps me going on now. I'm practically a empty shell now, feeling ever so lonely... I'm breaking down, really feel like crying out loud but you won't see my tears nor hear my cries. I finally understand why my friend told me she likes walking in the rain, cause nobody would know your crying...
I can see who is by my side and who is not. Nobody is, I'm alone.
4:57 AM;
Monday, November 10, 2008
Feelings do change but i guess mine stays the same. Im such a fool right?
Fool
1.stupid person[countable] a stupid person or someone who has done something stupid [= idiot]:
What a fool he had been to think that she would stay.
Can't believe how dumb and blinded i was to believe such a thing as trust existed.
STUPID ME. There ain't such a thing as forever...
6:33 AM;
Thursday, November 06, 2008
What can i say? I'm coming clean. Huiling its not that I couldn't make myself clear, I told you who my posts were dedicated to but the feelings that i invoked in you by my post made you doubt my words and wonder if it was all false. All i can do now is try and prove myself, I just realised how weak and fragile words can be. I guess the paragraph below really expresses my feelings, nothing less.
"Haish... As i watch the distance between us getting wider and wider, my heart envisage the ending of everything by the end of this year. The burning matchsticks reminded me how fragile hope was... Set it on fire then just take your time and watch it burn to nothingness. You rekindled that little hope in me, please, i beg of you, don't put out the light. My love for you will exist til the end of time, i'll be waiting with my bleeding heart, hoping that someday you'll accept me for who i am. I can never be perfect nor good enough for you i guess... I promise you that i'll change, just tell me and i'll do it. I'm really afraid of losing you, my heart just can't stop missing you when your not around. Even if i'm just a friend to you, i just wanna tell you that i'll always be your guardian angel. In the past, now and forever...I love you =D You know who you are ^^"
Who do you think i'm writing this to?
LoL that reminds me, not left, not right nor the middle, still got up and down right? xP And fake isn't the right word, its unconvincing and contradicting *Hope i'm right* .
7:10 AM;
Monday, November 03, 2008
Feeling bitter,sour,sick,sweet,disgusted,confused,frustrated.
Wake up every morning wondering whats next, most of the time its just cca killing my life. Man...Dyed my hair red then black again. Don't wanna talk about it liao, spoils my mood.
Holiday anybody free PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE JIO ME OUT ^^ (Pangsehers not entertained)
Pangsehed counter:16 (Just got pangsehed 1 minuete ago)
If your wondering which sub combi i've got, its...C1 a choice that made me wonder if i was dumb. Was it the right thing to have chose C1?...
Your ignorance's killing me, i swear your cold shoulder could freeze me off no prob.
LoL hols so sianz sia, whole day is wake up, watch youtube, go training, come home, makan dinner, online, SLEEP . Thats sucks man but i've made some new discoveries! =D 1.Japan animes are great time killers
2.When your bored, get a job
3.Cinema's becoming my third home
4.Friends who lie to you, F*** off =D
5.Ruki's new hairstyle DEFINITELY SUCK
6.Bimbos are better than bitches
7.Learnt how to stand properly
8.CCAs are fun sometimes, annoying when its too often
9.Red hair is nice ^^
10.Life is just knowing people and trying to forget them later
Haha try beating that, i've learnt 10 THINGS during the first part of the hols =) I'm soooo proud of myself xD Lets begin the other part of the post...
AHH!! CAN'T F***ing think straight, minds in a whirl. Whenever i see the blank space in here, i never fail to forget all that i wanna write or just scream about.
Walking down the road I once knew, saw the swings we once played, climbed the tree we once walked by everyday, sat down at the void deck i once spend my every afternoon at. I can't help but gazed at the elated children playing gleefully at the playground. Memories of my past poured into my mind, the happy ones and the sad ones. The beautiful oak tree i once saw has became nothing more than a withered and dead tree, the playground i once knew is never the less still filled with joy and laughter. It made me wonder, what happened to me?
Everything seems so dead now that i've changed. Life used to be just study, eat, sleep, watch tv, play with friends and family. Nothing else really matter back then. Now? Friends just ain't friends no more, they don't stay as one like those you knew long ago. Families all have their own things to attend to. Studies just ain't as easy as it used to be. Tv, replaced by computer, got sick of it. Eat? Thank god if i stop skipping meals. Sleeping, can't do that so often. What is life to me now? Just a time of my existance, do people even realise im here? Doesn't seem so to many.
Is it because of the choices and decisions i make? Why is the world so practical and cruel to me? Its not like i wanted things this way right? I don't wanna face reality anymore! IM SICK OF EVERYTHING, LIES,BOREDOM,DIFFICULTIES,BITCHES,RESPONSIBILITIES...
I'm so sick and tired, i wish i was dead ( I know pretty much of the whole world wish im dead too ). its just so unfair! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? Why do the assholes always win? Why am i trying so hard to be the nice guy? What or who am i doing all these for? ITS SO SEEMS FREAKING MEANINGLESS NOW...
Whine whine whine, yea thats what i just did, nobody's gonna care nor bother about it anyway. F.Y.I SCREW THOSE LIARS WHO TOLD ME THEY WERE GOING 2S+2H AND IN THE END WENT TO 3S+2H OR 3S+1H, this just shows how hypocritical people can get, even those you think you know them well.
(Lets just say some events are better left forgotten. =D)
Don't wanna emo liao, realised its pointless... Baibye
5:40 AM;
